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Woo hoo hoo....... o.O;;;;; |
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Ahhhhh!!! School, school, school!!! *Dies.* Well, yesterday officially began the count down of my last year of school... *Shivers.* And then... and then... *tears up* And then..... waaahhhhh!!! *Sobs and sobs and sobs like a child.*
I know you are supposed to be happy and everything... trust me, I am! I truly am! But the majority of me is terrified, petrified on what the real world will have in store. I'm a very responsible person-- I have a job, pay my cellphone bills, car insurance, gas, etc.. with a small bit of spare money left over. And plus, I'm saving up in the bank, so I believe I'm beginning with a decent start, ya? But even still, despite these responsibilities I bear, I am bound by transparent chains of fear.. *Sighs.* And I can't seem to break free of their clutches.
I dunno... high school just went by so fast. It seems like just yesterday I was a freshmen, waiting to the every needs of the upper classmen, wandering around clueless on what to do, where to go, acting as if nothing else in the world mattered, being immature, so on and so forth. And now.. so suddenly, I am the senior, the top dog. It is now my duty to terrorize and torment the little freshmen, the newcomers. I mean, come on... fresh meat! Can you hardly resist? *Grins.* No longer am I looked down upon, but people look up to me. We run the school, us, us! So many new privelages... new rights... but it still doesn't take away the fear inside.
*Runs fingers through her hair.* Ahhh... blah. Enough of that.. it's probably boring you all to death anyway... *Sweat drop.* I'm a senior, last year of high school, I'm scared... woo hoo hoo.. hehehe.
On another note! .... *Sighs.* Don't you just hate it when you find out that a guy you were once completely head over heels for is totally into you (and always has been), but your heart already belongs to someone? And then he comes around and says "I really do care for you, but I won't do anything that will harm your relationship with him. But please, know that I am here." -____- Confusion, confusion, confusion dammit!!! ><!!
It's really nice to know... but something about those words sparked something within me, and it tore me apart yesterday (this is when he told me) that something such as that crossed my mind when I already have the perfect person beside me!! I wanted to hide in a corner and cry... *Sighs.* It makes no sense... something similar to this happened last year, and it crushed me. I don't want a repeat.. but I'm slightly scared that it could happen again... grrrrrr!!! There's so much damn crap coursing through my head right now... it's like a friggin' labryinth inside... and I can't find the ******** exit!!! And now I am totally frustrated.... dammit....
I'll just shut up now before I frustrate myself beyond reason.... >>;; *Sighs.* ^^;;;
So yah... the start of school, the return of the chaos I left behind last year.. woo hoo hoo....... -_-;;;
And now.. a little something to liven things up... a conversation between a friend and myself yesterday:
Me: o.O;
Nathan: What's with the look?
Me: I forgot just how creative and imaginative everyone is.. ummmm.. yah.. so pleasant to hear.. ^^;;
Nathan: Now, now. All you need is a perfect remedy to cure that shyness of yours. Repeat after me: p***s, p***s, p***s. v****a, v****a, v****a.
Me: ....... I'll pass.... ^^;;;
Nathan: Good enough!
Me: ^^;;;;;;
*BIG sweat drop.* Yup.. I really did forget just how creative and imaginative some of my friends are... *Another sweat drop.* I love them to death tho, hehehe.
Well, now that I have adjusted the mood of this journal with a rather disturbing conversation between myself and a friend.. ^^;;; I'll just say goodbye!! So... sayonara!!! *Sweat drop and waves like an idiot.* (Jackie.... you are STILL rubbing off on me..... ^^;; heheheheheeeee)
~Kitty
"Your eyes are holding up the sky
Your eyes make me weak, I don't know why
Baby your eyes make me scared to tell the truth
I was dancing on the roof
I thought my heart was bullet proof
But everybody knows, I'm into you..."
 Broken Advent Child · Fri Aug 19, 2005 @ 10:05pm · 0 Comments |
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