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I miss the medicine
my whole life feels like
an empty book
just days and days of Nothing
but the two-three years I was medicated
I felt Alive
I left the house. I made friends. I played shows. I traveled.
my body feels like an anchor
tethering me to some Unreality
so much of my time is wasted
scratching at my chains
trying to break loose
I want to claw myself apart
there is Something Living Under my skin
& it is pretending to be a Person
on a bad day, it feels like an infection
some crawling parasite
on a really bad day, i feel like I'm possessed
on a good day
I'm driving from passenger seat
adjacent to myself
when we are close
my blood boils
i am overcome with Feverous Impulse
I want to Drink Blood & Howl & Writhe
when we are far apart
I feel nothing
I sit in some air-conditioned waiting room of the mind
watching my life flicker by on the television
most of the time
I just tune out
I miss waking up & feeling like
A Person
 taxidermy jesus · Sun Jan 03, 2021 @ 06:19pm · 0 Comments |
