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I'm ******** up all of the time
& I'm not going to apologize for it
maybe I could do better but idk
everytime I try staying sober
I feel like I wanna die
there is a lot l.love about my life
I love dancing & making music with my friends
I love nature walks & the rush of catching a wave & road trips to new places
I love taking photos of my cats
I love watching the stupid behind the scenes special features on movies
I love finding a nice candle or finding a cool leaf
I love the rumbling of a passing train or the distant cry of a seagull
the smell of fresh paint
the crackling of a fire
heart to heart conversations
when the cat falls asleep on my legs & even though I have to go to work
I'll run a few minutes late
( five minutes of her happiness is worth more than the 2 ******** dimes I'd make in that time at work lol)
these moments are so rare & precious
they are.difficult to sacrifice
sometimes I am compelled to
supplement my happiness
it is not a sustainable mode.of living
but I have yet to find a meaningful alternative
- - - - - -
sometimes I worry that nobody really likes me because I am high all the time
but then I try getting sober, and conditions don't really seem to improve
sometimes I feel like a walking interruption
like an odd clap on the wrong beat
I am perpetually spilling over into the silence
- - - - - -
looking 4 friendship in polyrhythm lol
like yeah we can be playing different notes
but we gotta be playin' the same music
 taxidermy jesus · Tue Dec 29, 2020 @ 12:17pm · 1 Comments |
