Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Even though he said he was sorry, it still hurt. That one thing he said.. still really hurt. Don't know why so much but it did. I know he's really sorry and he should feel guilty... but that's not fair to say cause I wouldn't want to be thought upon to feel guilty. I'll get over it, well I have since I first felt it. He may not realize the sudden difference in what I said, or did it was just he couldn't figure out exactly why since he had to leave. I wanted to tell him how I felt, though he sort of said it for me.. kind of made me a bit more upset and stuff. Oh well, he did apologize. But that one thing still hurt, I know I am dwelling but it did.. I was wanting to make him happy even if I would have liked to talk to him. and I thought I could a bit more before he went to play this game with his friend, but it was too late and then he said to his friend that he had to do something or something like that. So I try to say he didn't have to and all that.. cause I thought he wanted to play and more or less knew he did.. so I wanted him to do his thing and I felt guilty holding him on msn just to talk to me. But he gets mad at me.. saying I don't get it.. obviously I didn't... but it still was not fair, I just wanted to have it so he was happy. The he does goes play... but that one thing sticks and repeats.. and still hurts, though numbness has stopped pain related it just burns in the mind. -sighs- I thought I was done getting really mad and to point of tears... guess I'm to weak -hangs head in defeat- oh well better to cry then destroy.