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Dear Haiku,
There is a tiny little window inside of us. Sealed and closed off with concencrated drapery. When we tread the roads, the oh so many roads of life, the drapery begins to fall apart at the seams. Each little intricate design woven into the thick material comes undone..as our sins mount like fire and burn at the tapestry. We begin to expose ourselves, the most private parts of ourselves, and the more we do, the drapery begins to recede. Our majestic presence is diminished into commonplace, and we lose ourselves in this world's many distractions. Unaware...that our most sanctified deity is losing it's grace as we are exposed and become exposed to what truths and lies lay before us.The very heart of us becomes tainted..no matter how self-righteous many of us try to be. The tiny little window inside of us..begins to decay and is shut tighter. The bolts and screws rust over, and is doomed to be trapped forever. This little window..is the doorway to who we are underneath all the labels, all the clothes, the flesh, the hair, social status, the vanity, the wealth, who we are...inside. The very aura of our beings. We get lost by these outside interferences and we never take the time to become clean. To restore ourselves. That is why..so many of us... don't know who we are. That is why...we remain confused. Our little windows are shut closed and many do not care. But I do. So I decided to begin to refine myself....to put luster on my little window. To polish the beautiful gold and brass frame. To scuff away the stains of pain from the silver little latches. To wash that beautiful glass clean. Maybe oneday that little window will open up inside me, and maybe I can better understand my heart, my purpose, my destiny. I feel like I am in exile, that...I am cut off from the rest of the world and their ways of thinking. I am nowhere near conventional or sometimes not even rational with my ways of doing things. Sometimes, I feel like...my little window will always be closed. I often feel like, I am a menace and that I disrupt the world's order, whatever peace there maybe. I feel like..the little rebellious weed amongst proud beautiful, boastful roses. I stand out like a sore thumb and that people want to rid me away, but my roots hold steadfast and won't give in to what the world wants. I'm the blemish on perfection.I own no crown nor kingdom, I wear no robes of royalty. I am but a pauper, just trying to get by. A loner, by fate. Me and my little window. I will continue to polish that little doorway inside me, and wonder what lies beyond that frame. If there are green melodic pastures, mountains that reach the heavens, and rivers the purest blue. If I am on the other side, walking proud, with a sincere smile, clean, healthy, and full of light. No scars on my body, no wounds on my soul. Wondering if my crown, my wings, my joy, my laughter is on the other side of that window. I'll get there someday, but for now... I've got some cleaning to do.
 Aoi Utsuki · Tue Jun 13, 2006 @ 03:42am · 1 Comments |
