Narrator: Lloyd, Genis, Noishe, and their Desian friends travel through the desert to their Base.
Desian: "Therefore, humans are the cause of pollution, rapes, Britney Spears, and just about any evil thing in this world."
Genis: "I see. It all makes sense now. Humans must be stopped!"
*They arrive at the Base*
Desian: "Hehe, that's great, kid."
*He turns to Desian #2 and whispers*
Desian: "Do we invite him in?"
*Desian #2 shakes his head*
Desian: "Well, kid, it's been great. Now, scram, fellow half-elf."
*Genis runs away with Noishe*
Desian #3: "What a stupid kid."
*They walk inside their base and we cut to Lloyd, in his cell, waking up*
Lloyd: "Oy, there was something up with that mosquito. Hey! They stole my swords!"
*Looks down*
Lloyd: "And... my pants. Great, they took all my crap. Except my Sorceror's Ring."
*Sees a Desian pacing next to his cell*
Lloyd: "I think I'll shock him with this here Ring and make him go away so I can easily open the cell because the button is right next to the door."
*Lloyd shocks the Desian who turns to him*
Desian: "Heeeey."
*Desian runs away and Lloyd escapes from his cell. He goes to a treasure chest and opens it*
Lloyd: "Hey! It's my crap!"
*Lloyd puts his pants back on and his swords and walks to the exit*
Lloyd: "Now where the hell am I?"
*Two Desians spot him*
Desian: "It's the kid in the red!"
Desian #2: "He escaped!"
Desian: "That's because we have the damn button that opens the cell, in arm's length, right next to the cell!"
Desian #2: "Woulda thought?"
*The desians chase Lloyd into a room and a battle erupts, Lloyd takes out both of them and throws his swords in the air*
Lloyd: "Haha! Nothing to-"
*Misses a sword, which falls to the ground*
Lloyd: "Crap."
*Lloyd picks up the sword and hears Desians coming and jumps into a sort of... i dunno... hole in the metallic floor*
Desian: "Where did that kid in the red go?"
Desian #2: "Well, he did escape."
Desian: "Well, yeah."
*They turn and the door locks*
Desian: "Hey! They locked us out!"
Desian #2: "My spare key is in my quarters. Do you have yours?"
Desian: "No, I left it in your room."
Desian #2: "Really? No keys? Boy, we're a pair. Haha. Oh well, we can use that way Lord Botta does it."
Desian: "Does what?"
Desian #2: "Shuddap and help me with the robot things."
*They push the robot things on the blue spaces and the door opens and they leave*
Desian: "Wonder what's for dinner?"
*Lloyd gets up and the robot things start to move, Lloyd whallops both of them with the sheath of his swords and drags them to the blue spaces*
Narrator: "Hoho, if only it were that easy."
*Lloyd walks through the base and gets spotted by another pair of Desians*
Desian: "It's the kid in the red!"
Desian #2: "Get 'em!"
Lloyd: "Why the hell does my outfit stand out so much?!"
*Lloyd runs into a nearby room and locks the door, but jumps when he hears a voice behind him*
??? #5: "And just who the hell are you?"
Lloyd: "Uh... I'm... Neptune, King of the Sea. I sink ships and conjure up storms."
*Neptune walks into the room*
Neptune: "No you're not. I am. And you know nothing of my work."
*a man from Triet walks in and punches Neptune unconcious and whacks Lloyd with a stick*
Man: "Bastards! What a ripoff!"
*Man drags Neptune out of the room with a scowl and ??? #5 whispers to Lloyd*
??? #5: "Who are you to ask for my name?"
Lloyd: "Oh, right. Who are you to ask for my name?"
??? #5: "How cute. But I will not-"
*??? walks into the room*
???: "His name is Yuan! YUAN! YUAN! Y-U-A-N!"
Yuan: "Shut up, Botta!"
Botta: "Well, I just wanted to be important. Sorry. But, Lord Yuan, the Chosen's group has infiltrated the base."
Yuan: "Dammit! Without a call or anything! I can't let him see my room like this! Botta, take care of the intruders."
*Yuan turns to leave but turns back to Lloyd*
Yuan: "And, Lloyd, next time we meet, your a** is mine."
*Yuan leaves*
Lloyd: "Yeah! Just when I'm done using it, buddy!"
*Sees Botta*
Lloyd: "This could be a problem."
Botta: "Yeah."
*Collete, Genis, and Kratos burst into the room*
Lloyd: "Hey! It's you people!"
Kratos: "I'm Kratos."
Lloyd: "Riiight."
*They burst into a battle with Botta Buddha and being fighting*
Botta: "I'll kick you asses!"
Collete: "Hehehe, sorry being such a bother."
Botta: "Oh, don't worry about it."
*Lloyd hits him with his sword*
Botta: "Ow! That hurt!"
*Kratos rushes up to Botta and slices him*
Kratos: "Feel the pain..."
*Slices him again*
Kratos: "Of those Inferior-"
Lloyd: "Kratos! Not yet! And wrong guy too!"
Kratos: "Oops. Sorry."
Botta: "Don't worry about it."
*Botta falls to the ground and drops his sword*
Botta: "Ow! That really hurt, Kratos! Kvar is in for a world of pain when he gets his!"
Lloyd: "Who?"
*Botta looks at Lloyd and gets up and exits from the room, slowly, backwards*
Genis: "What a strange person."
*Raine scurries into the room and sniffs the exsphere from Botta's sword* Raine: "Mmm, exsphere...."
*She turns to Lloyd*
Raine: "Lloyd! I DEMAND you make me a key crest for this exsphere!"
Lloyd: "Uh... sure, Professor. But I need Inhibitor Ore."
*Raine pulls a huge slab of it out of Yuan's desk*
Raine: "How much do you need?"
*They exit the base with, apparently, no trouble at all*
Lloyd: "So what were you losers doing?"
Collete: "Well, we went to the fire temple and Genis came and cried about how you were trapped in the Desian Base and told us to go rescue you."
Genis: "I didn't cry."
Raine: "You cried, you little brat."
Genis: "No! I did not!"
Kratos: "Yes, you did."
Lloyd: "Yup, that's Genis. Always crying. Baby."
*They reach Triet*
Kratos: "Lloyd... Your sword skills have improved. But you still suck."
Lloyd: "Oh. I'm crushed."
Kratos: "I knew you would be."
Genis: "Let's go to the Inn!"
Raine: "Genis, you disgusting crap, slow down! You'll trip!"
*Genis falls, and starts crying*
Raine: "Oy, this I don't need."
*Raine puts a band-aid on Genis*
Raine: "This is the best I can do. Until I learn Cure, I'm useless."
Genis: "Thanks, Raine."
Narrator: "Raine obtained the title of 'Sisterly Love'."
Raine: "That's me to a tee."
*The group goes into the Inn, and Lloyd begins work on the key crest, under intense watch by Raine, who whips him as he works*
Narrator: "Yes, this is going no where. These guys are losers. Even, I, your narrator is getting bored. I-"
*Narrator is shot*
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