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hmmm, how to start this journal entry... for see my thoughts are all mixed together... Have you ever said something to some one but covered it up with a lie for they weren't suppose to know... let alone no one else was either. what you said would make them ask a question which would lead to the turth of what it is you are hiding, but instead of coming straight out you lie for your own reasons.
(I have no idea if this makes sence to you all)
I did something to myself of my own problem and reasons, even if it shouldn't had caused me to do... but i did it, i said something to some one close to me which asked them the question " oh, what happened" (or something like that) Luckily it was over msn.. so they could not see what it was i was doing at the time, well they knew i was cleaning a cut, but it wasn't the entire truth.
I had been depressed that week and ended up not being able to sleep, and once I cried myself to basic sleep. I would feel low, and just not happy for people then and still now say " you look so sad" and I just perk up to show no there is nothing wrong with me even if there is... I hide from them, I hide what it is that I don't want people to know, one being the problem that I am having which was what i lied to the person i care deeply for... I feel awful i did that to them, even if it may not seem bad or if it is, that I can not determined.
I need to tell some one the truth for what it is that I have done, and It is my own fault I'm in this situation, i created the problem got myself more into it and now i just have to get myself out.. but it's hard when your hiding it from everyone. So what i need to do is tell the person i lied to the truth, even if it will cause more possible problems, if it does...
(I understand that maybe or is confussing I am sorry for those reading it, however I can not go into full detail about it so I can not make it any clearer for I too can not think of how to make it any clearer for those who read this.)
 Rikku42 · Tue Apr 11, 2006 @ 11:49pm · 2 Comments |
