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Well... I can't... Er...
I am feeling ignored... I tried talking to my this friend of mine...He knew I was there... I really did try speaking to him! I didn't wimp out like all those other times... I never thought it would happen again.. I haven't really talked to him for 3-4 months... You know how much this hurts me? Especially...When you're talking to his friend... You ask them if he's talking to them...And if he is... And he tells his friend... That he knows you're on... And you've been trying to get him to respond to you for about an hour? How would that make you feel? Would you feel pain inside? I'm about to feel it outside. I'm insane people...Remember? I'm a little obsessed with this guy... I don't care who knows it now! I've kept quiet for too long, it's time I opened up...Let almost everything out... And now since this situation has happened for the SECOND time in the past 3 months... No wonder part of me hates him already. I hate him...But I some what love him. Say what you want... I'm a physco for ever even falling for a guy like that, but he wasn't like this at first... He was nice...we were both so clinging... Maybe that's why we grew further anf further apart about every day....week...
It makes me feel ill thinking about how I was with him... Never again shall I become that way again! I gave up everything for him... I left so much behind me... Now I am no longer blinded by myself... I've began realizing... I don't need him... I don't need anyone by my side for a while... Maybe being alone... will help me out more... So I've been alone since...I lost track... Who cares anyway? Not any of you... No one cares about this JOURNAL I just began writing in recently... Not like I've got anything else to do but waste away doing nothing. I have wasted most of my life already, I won't make the same mistakes again... I promise myself...I won't...I won't! I won't...