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Going to a party is fun and all, right?... But not when your crush since the 4th grade is there with his girl friend. stressed So I was jealous? Not like I did anything! Well I just got REALLY quiet that's all. sweatdrop But before he had a girl friend... Want to know why I didn't ask him out? He pretty much hates me... You know why? I used to hurt him, and not that "OMG I PUNCHED YOU" kinda hurt...! How come he never told on me anyway?... That's been bothering me for years now... Guess I'll never find out unless I ask... To tell you the truth... I have asked... But I bet he didn't pay attention, not that I care anyway exclaim
My mom, if she knew I liked someone...anyone... I'd get into some sort of trouble... I just know it... She'd yell at me probably... Probably... Hm... She doesn't want me to have a boyfriend until I'm 16... That's 2 years from now... Tsk... I've already had 6... It's hard to keep a secret like that... But I could only tell people I trusted... But now... For about over 2-3 months... I've been alone. Well I felt alone while I was with someone... Only with one... I didn't feel alone... My last boyfriend... I can't name names here... If anyone found out... Erm... QUESTIONS COMIN' FROM EVERYWHERE!... I don't want that, I really don't... I don't even really like telling anyone anything... I don't even like talking that much anymore... Not that I don't know what to say... I either don't know how to say it... Or I think they'll think I'm insane... WHICH MOST ALREADY DO!
This is loooong right? Well once I get started one typing... Things pop into my head...And I have to get rid of it... Somehow... On paper... anything really...
I noticed being 14 now... It's pretty much the same as being 13 or 12... Nothing has changed really... My feelings maybe though... confusion, depression... hate... That's what's strong now. I feel blinded by those now... And uh no... I'm not an emo. I'm just me alright? Stop calling me what I'm not... No one knows me better than.................