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I've been feling really bad lately,not physically, but mentally.
As if my whole world is crumbling and I'm the only one who sees the truth behind the lies. Before this river becomes an ocean seperating us, I need to tell you something Michael, I love you. More than anything else.

I said it here, but I can never tell you. Especially now, when no future lies there for us. Now your on the west coast, I'll never see you again, I know that this is an actual fact. I didn't mean to be so short, so angry. I know its not your fault, nor is it mine that you have to leave, but now I won't even be able to see you over the summer. The only thing keeping you there was your mother not wanting to leave her childhood home. But now your gone. I told you not to call, not to say goodbye, that I didn't want to see you before you left. I'm sorry Michael. I'm so sorry. You'll never know how much it hurt to realise that I'd never enjoy your sweet kiss or gentle touch again. But in my life, I have never said one goodbye, just a talk you to soon, or a see ya later. It hurts much less to never see you again than to tell you goodbye and make it final. So, until we one day meet again, maybe the fates will make our paths cross again one day. Maybe by then we won't even know each other, won't recognize the other because of the changes, maybe we'll always recognize each other's eyes and the look thats held just between us. Maybe one day....I'll leave it at that.

Great, now that I'm crying, I need to listen to something nice.
Faith-by George Michael.
....his names Michael!!!!!
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oh god....I can't even listen to one of my favorite songs now without thinking of him. I'm going to cry now every time I hear this happy song. But maybe theres a message in there somewhere....No, it just makes me think of you. Oh god....

*runs off to the bathroom to dry her eyes before her mother sees*


Quote of the day: Love is not endless, it is not bottomless, but it is unfathomable how deeply it will always affect you.