August 25, 2009 Tuesday 12:32 AM
Sennyo,
It's not quite alike to the feeling of 'Never let this feelings fade! Never let this feeling go!', but more like... it's more like going through the pleasant memories of it. I want to believe! I believe(d) once... I want to believe in Gaia again as I had last year, when I found what it truly meant to be, to belong, in the world of Gaia! All the friends I made, the connections, everything! The hope that kept me going. I want to believe in myself, and I want to believe in others!
The near-euphoria came while I watched the then-Live recordings of Gaia Online at the Anime Expo. Especially in the third recording I watched, it was a recording of their around two-hour long panel. The thrill of the con', the excitement and large fragments of happiness hanging about everywhere in the air. They gave out free items, some for free free, and others in contest like 'the biggest sword', 'the craziest hair', and 'the tallest person'. It makes me want to believe in living for the Sugoicon. To be recognized as not This Person That I Am, but another! To be joined together by and with others due to shared interests. I want to skip ahead to this time, and skip all the miseries that I would go through before that time. I want to move ahead to my dream adult self in this world. By this I mean my dream self that would exist in this world. Not the realistic one. Not the dream I wish to live with Them and you.
_____ my love, forgive me.
_____ my love, I did the right thing in the end, didn't I?
Please, let my heart be filled someday, Sennyo.
Dreams.
Hopes.
Lies.
Despair.
_ ____ ___.
[End Log]
Poison Fairy Sennyo Community Member 
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