August 26, 2009 Wednesday 1:30+ AM
Dear Sennyo,
トノホ ノ先輩 ... did he know how much he revealed to me by making my a moderator? He's such an amazing person. Just by e-mailing me, I found that he had his own address (e-mail). Searching that e-mail I found his blog. He's so amazing. Nucc-cahbye. On July third 先輩 went to Japan to study! He's gone to some ruins and old castles.
Looking back into November 2008 and further on, I only read one thing about my second home, which I'm somewhat glad for. Was.... was his anger not enough for 先輩 to write it on his blog? Uncertainty dawns and hovers over me. He still has retained his usual sense of humor, what with strange, almost (?) made-up sounding words. I wonder, ... did 先輩 want me to find out about this? It may be me dreaming, but perhaps we are not so different. After all, a blog is like a journal. Especially a journal online. We do this to preserve ourselves so that we're not forgotten? My perspective, of course. Is it about being written, not read? Although, it is nice to see a 'Hits' statistics, I'm not sure about comments though. 先輩, why did you send me the e-mail from that address? Surely it must be something important to you. Perhaps you under-estimated my curiosity and desperateness to belong, to feel close to someone or something or many people/things, to cling to something that is most likely impossible.
Still, I don't think I've ever admired トノホ ノ先輩 so much as to up until now. Even with that one entry (in December, 200 cool concerning the family, it made me aware of how hard he tried to keep us all safe. Ha, he really is like an uncle, as The Hippo and I said, or as a Grandfather, as 先輩 had said. Thank you, トノホ ノ先輩, so much for protecting, keeping guard the sanctuary of the place that once existed, and the place that is being build once more.
---Who am I? (Not) This Person That I Am
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[Edit]
Oh, god. Searching more along his blog I found that he has a Twitter account. I immedietly clicked the link and came to his page and signed in. Should I follow him though? He'll be able to tell who I am. What if he think I'm just a stupid nosy child, regretting ever making such a child a moderator. Questions and suspicions will arise. Please, help me, Sennyo.
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[Edit]
I have sent him an e-mail regarding my concerns; am I too close? Are my quills hurting him as they are me?
[End Log]
Poison Fairy Sennyo Community Member 
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