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Ive been sick for a while and im not sure what to do... i dont even know if my mother cares anymore and im just soo tired... I started to cough up blood a little.. which worries me but oh well.. my mom just sighed and said ill get you into a docter soon... i know she wont.. in the end it will be a fight and ill feel like crap and wish i never went to tthe damn docter....

Im still quite lonely and the last person i wanted to go out with *which was recently Sean but now isnt.* well i cant go out with him at all... His mother doesnt like me and basically told me that i wasnt worthy of her son cause im not a vergin and well that hurts and me being a self hating type started thinking about what she said and realized that alot of things she was saying was.. well true.. so i got hurt pretty damn bad.. there was also a small fight i had with my ex which in the end i felt like crap and still do...

Lets see what else to say? hmmm well i want to leave this damn world.. its soo soo boring.... so tiring... and im not sure what to do.. im really tired of thinking things such as im useless and well some friends and most my family doesnt help me.. i feel like crap.. im tired... I cant remeber what else i was going to say.. origanlly this entry was supose to be of something else but i cant remeber what i wanted to write about anymore... anyways.. ending rant