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your cold words
demanding that i go
and in an instant

i don't see you, Jon

i see the other
a man with your name
his averted gaze

telling me i'm nothing in his eyes

gliding through the hall
away from me
moving on

i blink back to us

looking at the floor
ashamed of my past
but still i ask

you reply, impartial
so out, i dash
trying to look sucessful

like a businesswoman
is how i want to appear in this moment
intelligent, beautiful, confident

but i don't see you

i see her
my babe
my cherry night

my secret from last summer

polite and in a whisper
telling me goodbye
leaving me shattered

for she was my life

crashing into the circle
i limply mumble hi
but they do not notice

as i sigh

i still don't see you
but i hear your voice
your tone

wanting that i leave you alone

but still seeing her
i reach for my phone
instictively pushing her numbers

but she does not care

and now the tears come
knowing she is not aware
of us

our friendship

she thinks you're him
well he sees me too
but my eyes have changed again

i finally see you

do you even know you've hurt me?
would you even care?
i want to call out as you pass

but you act like i'm not there

what does all this mean?
is it all in my head?
politely i will leave

as you asked

but when i return
we will pretend
that nothing has changed

between us

as long as we're ok
this will dissolve
as a mere memory

this is all due
to only one thing
my fear, eternal

of losing you

like i lost them
longshore
and juju

please... not you, too...


Jon.