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I don't know what I feel anymore. I'm tired, overworked, and I never get to see Monkey, it's not my fault he's never around. Though it may be my fault for adopting so many kids and then taking care of them, but he still bugs me for a kid of our own. ******** that! He knows how I feel about birthing watermelons for children; if he wants a natural kid then he best find a way to birth the thing himself.
Maybe marrying him was a mistake, I can't have conversations with him anymore, it's all about kissing, touching, feeling... always wanting to have sex. And as strange as it is for me to say, as sexual as I am, I haven't been in the mood for sex lately. God knows Slush and Isto have, we can hear them ******** like rabbits most times, even when they're across the damned house. But that's besides the point, I think I still love him, but if he doesn't stop making me feel like I haven't been doing enough, then we may have to take a break. I'm under enough pressure as it is.
Don't get me wrong, I love all my kids to pieces, and thank the gods for Nathan for helping around the house as much as he does, since I can't cook and I'm usually chasing after one of the crazies. That's another reason, most of the time I'm too tired to have sex at night, honestly I am. Maybe I've lost my sexual drive? That's a bloody scary thought.
I've heard rumors of him cheating on me again, of even having a secret family on the side with Wolf's old fiancee, who knows what happened there. I am partial to believe the rumors, after what he did with that boy when I went on a bit of a vacation for myself, lucky for me I have friends that look out for MY sake. He seems to like to repeat the past though, I mean he did it with Kat, then me when I was his mistress, but now as his wife?! ********' aye. Another reason I have no desire to ******** him at the moment, though most of it is truly me being tired as hell.
Well I'm off to travel with a new 'addition' to it's origination, I figured it'd be best to have her born in the place where she was created, with others of her kind. That way, if I have any questions before coming back home, I can ask them to the experts. Anyways, her name is Sanura and she's a sabertooth tiger 'humaniod' like thing, called a Boundless.
I may explain more later, but for now I must take my leave. I hope Nathan delivers the messege to Monkey.
 XBear · Thu Nov 18, 2004 @ 06:23am · 0 Comments |
