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From One Trial to Another...
Unbelievable, how life works out...it turns out that my brother is not getting divorced. He and his wife are going to marriage counseling and have resolved to work out their problems...in exchange, it seems, we now have a new trial to face..
What can I say? When you hear someone say, "active localized breast cancer", and it applies to your own mom...what do you say?
I'm...numb. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I feel guilty for not being in tears right now. Dear God...the doctor wants her to get chemotherapy. And he's concerned that the cancer has spread. I...I can't fathom what all this means...it's like my mind has locked itself down, whether it's that I don't care, or that I care too much, I don't know. Bah, I know I care. I just...don't want to fall apart. I see on that path a dark void, and I don't know what's in there...
My mom and I have always joked about how she's gotta stick around so she can see her my future kids...now for the first time, a real and overwhelming threat to this dream has risen before us.
God have mercy on us...I've never been here before. Whatever. it's not like giving in to despair will fix anything. I will put my best face forward and be strong. "No one can predict with certainty how stormy the new year will be", the words from tonight's devotional ring truly here.
I know what to do. I will trust God, and I will live better, for my family's sake and for my own. May God give our family the strength, the resources, the love and the patience to endure this. We will get through this coming crucible.
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