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Moving On Now... c:
Whew, I sure like these journal entries. They're perfect for dumping emotional baggage and musing about stuff.
Well, I'm feeling better about my brother. I'm still sad about his situation, but I'm ready to do what I can to help him and myself out. On that note, I recall that many of my friends and family tell me that I'm WAY too hard on myself.
...That makes me wonder, because from my view, I don't think I'm hard enough on myself. I feel lazy, unmotivated, stubborn, etc. But like they say, "We are our own worst critics." I see in my life a lot of things that I know would make things better for myself and everyone around me. I don't think I do enough for others around me. I don't think I exercise enough, study enough, clean the house up often enough, pray or read my Bible enough. I want to be better than what I am right now. I want to be the kind of guy that a girl wants to marry and have kids with. ninja I look at myself right now and know that it wouldn't be long before my flaws would start making things tough for a relationship to thrive.
But then again, I have seen proof positive that I am too harsh on myself. My family says it, my friends say it, heck, even the Bible has verses that say I'm being too hard on myself (look up the verse where God says "My grace is sufficient for you. My strength is perfected in your weakness" wink Sheesh, even my Gaia friends who've never met me in person say that I'm too hard on myself.
*sigh* I'll work on it. xP It's just frustrating when you KNOW that there's more you could do for the big three in your life: God, others (friends, family, country, work, etc.) and yourself. Oh well. I'm much better than I used to be. I guess the biggest goal here is for me to always forgive myself. I take for granted that forgiving others and forgiving myself are strongly connected to each other. It really is hard to forgive someone else when you have a hard time forgiving yourself for your own mistakes.
I can take a hint. I need to forgive myself and move on. If I don't forgive myself, how can I offer any encouragement to my brother who's gonna need all the uplifting he can get?
*On a sidenote before I close, I'm flattered that my gaia friends take the time to read my journal entries. They're above all for my own edification, be it soul-purging, announcing, recording for posterity, or whatever. But it's nice to know that other people are interested in what I'm thinking ^_^*
Anyway, now to get to work on my other entry. gotta post the highlights of my trip to Puerto Rico. x] w00t!
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