Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

U kno i'm not worth s**t. I'm just a random girl in the crowd. ppl don't pay attention 2 me, i'm in the shadows, even if i was kidnaped right at the spot no 1 would notice. I'm ok not being noticed, i'm a loner, am n always will be i think. I'd just walk down the street, n out of no where some1 might shot me, n no 1 would do a thing, sure they might call the ambulance but, they wouldn't even try n stop the bleeding most likely, they'd just stand their n watch me die. Sure my family would do everything 2 keep me alive, but if there not there than who? Who do i have? I lose every1 i love because i hate hurting feelings, i could do the most idiotic s**t because of it 2, it's like i can't say no sometimes but it depends on the person. Like i could be annoying Vince with my constant calling, i have 2 say no once in a while. I just hate hurting ppls feelings, like if i ask when do u want me 2 call n he says anytime u want, i'm at a wall sort of because i want 2 call him but, he might not want me 2 so i get into this thing. Or i start 2 think he might want 2 but if i don't(rarely happens) i don't want 2 hurt him by saying no. idk....
I'm an annoying person, like i'm pissed off that i fall asleep when i'm on the phone, that can get annoying most likely. Before i could stay up along time but now i'm falling asleep faster because of the damn cold, i can't really stand the cold, well my body can't really, when i'm cold my body reacts by going 2 sleep, or getting drowse than falling asleep. i have no control over it, i wan't 2 stay awake but, it can't be done my body goes into a sleep mode *sigh* im pathetic, a pathetic worthless girl, goddamn it. Maybe it's better if i stay alone, i won't hurt or annoy ppl, with my bs of a person.....