Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

wow as i'm typing this i'm wondering if it will actually ever be read or not...i guess i shouldn't care but the more i move on in life, and think its getting better...it seems i'm taking a leap into bigger despair in a hole of darkness.i used to care... u know about my life, but now i'm falling in the black and losing my grip on faith.i say this as every1 i know slowly leaves me. i am that heartbroken orphan that was never adopted.i want to be independent! i want 2 survive on my on as i used 2....but now i can't handle being alone.
i don't understand y either....ppl r never nice 2 me.maybe thats y they left?i'm a b***h inside and i know it.but surely its not all me? i was born w/ thesze symptoms.maybe i would've been nicer 2 an open hand,.if only ppl would stop running away and at least tell me i'm not ok! u think its better? 2 leave me here in agony sobbing myself 2 sleep wondering y i was cursed w/ this....and y u left.a ticking time bomb... thats what u called me. IT WAS AN ACCIDENT! I- I at that point it didnt even matter. then after she left u promised 2 stay....but now u say we can't be seen in public anymore, ''u rn't human, and i'm srry 4 those forced 2 put up w/ u''' those were the harsh words said. and now i against all odda alone in the cold...i hope u know if this continues on... i won't be able to last. this may be goodbye.