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A continuation from previous rage! biggrin

Mood: Angry/upset/stressed.
Music: An Honest Mistake- The Bravery

Remeber how I said that I'd let it go, well appranetly my friend doesn't seem to share my view. I, personally, don't think its worth being angry. It only gets you into trouble and furthered misery. Hence why I abandoned many of those emotions a while ago, at least the intense ones. Petty flickers of resentment pop up now and again, which really disturbs me. But, onto why my friends flames of hate burn anew...

Okay, beginning of the week I hear from her that we have a write up, a HUGE write up, due on the upcoming Friday. Naturally I freak. Freak freak freak. I'm not good at physics and my friend isn't as willing, or at least I'd think she isn't as willing, to volunteer her help. So, early on in the week, we go to Physics tutorials together. She also says our data is wrong and goes to correct it so I nod to her and get the help that I need. See, we need to work on this write up individually and I don't exactly trust myself.

While she's fixing the data, and making graphs and charts for new data I go to our teacher, asking help on how to write a write up. I ask if she wants my help, she says no. This Thursday she confronts me after I try to make friendly conversation. The following conversation went like this, starting with her:

'What's your ******** problem?'
'What?'
'*Sigh* You don't see what you did to me?'
'Did what?'
'While you were talking to the teacher, I was doing all the work.'
'You should've asked for my help.'
'It shouldn't be my job to! Listen, why do you have to be so selfish?'
'Selfish? I needed the help. I don't see how I was selfish.'
'Well if you can't see that then I'm afraid we can't be friends.'

Oh and get this, the firends that I've managed to meet through her, are turning on me. She's clearly demonizing me behind my back. This is a recent re-creation of a VERY bad experience I had during 6th grade. A Horrible experience of lonliness that drove a 11-12 year old to cut themselves! How freaking unbelievable is that? I don't want this to happen again... Anything but this. However, this is the only outcome I see...

This sucks.

Trying not to re-live the past,
NaHeil.