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I'm feeling kinda overwhelmed at this point in time. I'm a bit behind on my work, not because I'm low on time, but because I have a hard time understanding and remembering everything in my Organic Chemistry class. It's got a reputation as one of the hardest courses on my campus. The rest of my stuff I understand and enjoy (except maybe stats, it's easy, just boring). Got a quiz in Statstics tommorow, a Conservation research group project coming up (I hate group work, relying on others sucks), midterms start in a couple more weeks. I also joined the Anime club and the photography club at my campus and wanna get the most of my money so I wanna try to make time for meetings.

As if this isn't enough, I took a job. Part time cashier at Price Chopper, a grocery near my house. My spending money was running kinda low and The Lady of Moof and I really wanna go to Japan in the next few years if it's possible. It's not a tough job, but I really did feel very awkard. It was my first day today and I've never been a cashier before. Had to watch some training videos, then did a bit of cashier then cleaned stuff. You're money is counted and if you're 10$ over or under, you get a write up. If you get a 4th write up, you're fired. Oh, joy.

Also, here's another frustration in my life. I really like Peter, he's been my friend since high school and he's at my campus. I've developed feelings for him, since he's really nice, I know he's smart and he's a good guy with a job and a car, the type you really wanna bring home to mom. He's good in the looks department too, a bonus. Plus he has high grooming standards and likes to take me shopping. Not only that, he actively shops with me. The downside is, he's bi and he currently has a boyfriend. I couldn't help but express my feelings about this here.

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v89/RoninS/chibimeunhappy.jpg

His forays into the dating scene seem to have shown me some of his faults, though in my opinion. He really doesn't seem to pick them well. He's been through about 3 boyfriends that I know of since he started having relationships about late last year. First guy he dated was kind of femme, he was also bipolar, sometimes happy, other times down, despite his medication. He also wanted to do it with Peter on the 2nd date. Peter's more the romantic type. Second guy was a player, also wanted to get his freak on.

Third guy he's with as of now is okay in the personality department, but he's kinda wild. Used to be a stripper, has been with over 50 other people before Peter, used to club all night strung out on estacy. I don't think Peter's going to be with him for too much longer, the guy seems to think he's kinda overbearing (gee, Peter's only been asking him out, what every 1-2 nights since they started seeing each other).

Anyways, the closest I come to any kind of romance is helping Peter feel better after he gets his heart ripped out and flung against the wall about every 2-3 weeks. He knows I want a relationship with him, but says he just sees me as too good of a friend and he'd feel too awkard. Thing is, I don't need any mushy romance crap, I just need a guy who's going to be there for me, treat my nicely and honestly and wants to have fun. Narly any guy who I'd ever consider dating (aka isn't a total loser), usually winds up just being a friend because I wanna get to know them in a context where they know there is no chance of sex. If they're okay in that situation, then I'll give them a chance with a green light, if I'm ready.

Peter's taking clubbing in a couple of weeks. It'll be all ages night at Five on October 9. It's a gay club and the event's called Homohop. First time we went, we thought it'd be a bunch of idiots getting drunk. But surprisingly, there was a really mixed crowd. White, black, some asian. Peter met his boyfriend down there and we had lots of fun. I even danced with a couple of bi guys. He also told me he'd recently revealed to his mom that he's bi. She thinks he's just confused and was a bit diappointed (he's ethnic, said his family would probably assess girls he brought home by checking their hips or something), but still supportive and loving. Also told me about this muslim guy he knows that he chats with. Says the poor guy's gotta hide it from his family, they're rally conservative and would probably be really upset. Yep, hard to believe, but there are gay muslims out there. I wonder how you deal with a secret like that and knowing you're family's really conservative...

Well, that's my take on relationships and stuff. In the not too distant future, gotta do another shift on Thursday and Saturday. Also gotta go to my little cousin's birthday party on Sunday.

That's all I can think of for now. I feel so much better getting that off my chest.