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So, anyway, there this film festival I have been invited to in Anchorage this weekend. Not sure on all the details yet, as I am fishing through documents to see how many frequent flier miles I have. I might have enough to GET there, but not back. In either case, travel would be pretty cheap. I mean...not too many people think to going to Alaska for winter. Don't ask me WHY, but...well, with that Sarah Palin chick, everyone's been more cautious of that state as of late. More news as it develops.

Also: Bonus time! Here's an old internet radio play skit I worked on when I actually had the resources to do internet radio plays. If you're ever interested in performing it, let me know. It's called "Mortal Kombat Ninjas At The Convenience Store"

(door chime)
CLERK: Good evening and welcome to Burpi-Mart, sir.
SZ: Well met to you as well faithful convenience store worker. I am Sub Zero of the Lin Kuei ninja clan. I am in need of something that only your store can provide.
CLERK: Certainly, sir. What can I help you with...
SZ: (interrupting) It has been many months since I have left my dojo on a sacred quest to purge the sins of my clan and find much needed refreshment. So many battles, so many trials I alone have undertaken to reach this point.
CLERK: Very good for you, sir.
SZ: Those that opposed me fell to my concerted arctic blasts, the cold trademark of my ancestry passed down from generation to generation. Yea, countless men lie frozen on the wastelands and roadsides.
CLERK: I see…would you like to purchase a lotto ticket or some cigarettes?
SZ: Nay. I have no use for a surplus of currency, or risking my rationed credits for more. Nor do I have the need for carcinogens, or the mercies that dull the mind with tar and nicotine.
CLERK: Herbal supplement, then?
SZ: The only stimulant in my body is the adrenaline I derive from battle! Nay, there is but one substance upon this sphere that can sate me, that can truly bring me inner peace, that only you of the convenience type could offer.
CLERK: And what is it exactly do you require?
SZ: One of your ice-concocted repasts.
CLERK: Oh! You want a Slurpee.
SZ: Indeed so, devoted convenience clerk, or any variants thereof under assorted brand names.
CLERK: Well, it's right over near the back wall. The cups are on the side. You can choose from large, extra large, and the obscenely large sixty-four ounce Wide Load commemorative cups.
SZ: I have no desire to get sixty-four ounces of Slurpee, even if the cup is reasonably priced and has a fashionable product tie-in with the latest moving picture. I shall choose extra large, and fill it with the frosty cola flavored slush.
CLERK: Okay, you go do that and I'll ring you up, sir.
(slurpee sound)
SZ: Ah, the sweet excretions of the frigid Slurpee machine churns so well within the reinforced window. So soothing to the eye and gentle on the ear. Say, I could make a haiku from that.
CLERK: Good for you, sir.
(door chime)
SCO: Ah-HAH! So I have found you, mortal enemy!
CLERK: What the hey…
SZ: Scorpion! My mortal nemesis! Are you not supposed to be dead?
SCO: Think again, Lin Kuei dog! My burning hatred for the death of my clan and family has kept me in a state of unrest! And now, I will wreak my vengeance upon you!
CLERK: Oh, please don't. I just mopped.
SZ: Cowardly ninja! I have withstood your spear many times, and I certainly will not allow you to interfere as I am so close to consuming…
SCO: You will consume nothing but the flames of hell as I tear you gullet to groin!
CLERK: Now that's just plain disgusting!
SCO: Silence, low-wage employee! This fight does not concern you!
SZ: Do not threaten him! He is twice the man you are, scum!
SCO: Your threats shall not work upon me, Lin Kuei!
SZ: Then we shall have to engage in Mortal Kombat to see which one of us shall prevail this day!
CLERK: Can you wait until you have purchased your Slurpee, sir?
SCO: Pardon?
SZ: He is right. It must have slipped my mind. I was in the process of purchasing this frosty Slurpee when…
SCO: Sub-Zero of the Lin Kuei? A Slurpee drinker? You partake of the sacred slush?
CLERK: Not until he pays, he won't.
SZ: Let me see if I have…no…wait…I am sure I had my wallet…do you take checks?
CLERK: Not without two forms of identification.
SZ: By Boon and Tobias! I must have left my wallet at the hostel I lodged in this morning! And the various coins in my pocket still give me insufficient funds! Oh, what tragedy to befall me!
SCO: Noble clerk, how much is the Slurpee in question worth?
CLERK: Um…one dollar and thirty-nine cents plus tax.
SZ: I think…I am about to cry.
SCO: Enemy or no, I cannot bear to see you depressed so. None shall be denied their desserts, for I have a five dollar bill that can pay for both his slush and mine, which I too had come in to order to assuage my parched throat.
CLERK: I can make change for you, sir. Just a second.
SZ: Scorpion…why would you do this? Your lust for vengeance upon my clan is legendary.
SCO: That may be so, Sub-Zero of the Lin Kuei, but it is paltry compared for my lust for a good, cold Slurpee after a long day of combat. Perhaps this is what others deem as…kinship?
SZ: Indeed. But that would make us…friends.
SCO: Yes! Friendship shall provide the answer for our trials! Now I will go and get my own Slurpee.
SZ: Then I must insist that I fill it for you, brother. There is a special concoction that is formed if you mix the right amount of cola slush with the cherry slush.
SCO: I am intrigued! Show me this concoction!
CLERK: Why do these things happen on my shift?
(Slurpee sound)
SCO: Such refined stirring you have, Sub-Zero! And the swirl is indeed unmarred!
SZ: It is very simple. See, you concentrate the kinetic energy within your chi outwards, letting the cooling of the hands…
(fade out)