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I wish I could cheer you up. But, the problem is that I don't think you are opening up to me. But maybe that's my problem; that I don't let anyone in. There never is really a good reason for being closed in the heart but... Something happened when I was young and for some reason, even though I'm trying so hard, I can't open up.

Right now, I feel like these are my deepest thoughts and I'm gonna try to open up. Right here, right now. I have apologized to you and you have forgiven me for what I did to you. You told me to forgive myself. Only problem is, I haven't been able to forgive myself. I was such an idiot to believe that person and they ruined what was the happiest time of my life.

I can't believe how crazy my hands are trembling right now. Maybe it's the release of the hardness of my heart. Or maybe I'm finally forgiving myself. I don't know. But what I do know is that I never stopped caring about you. Never stopped loving you. I miss the "old days" when we were open with each other and totally happy. It seems so long ago, even though it wasn't really that long.

I am so happy you accepted me back into your life, especially after what happened all those years ago. Thank you, so very much, for making me feel happy. I only wish I could do the same for you.

I've opened up to you. Please do the same for me.

(Okay, sorry this sounds so emo, but I had to get this off my chest. For some reason, I feel lighter now. Maybe I lost some weight, with all that dilly-dally.)