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BWAHAHAHA!
this is so funny! xd
the ones that are missing are too disgusting!

1. Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead
2. Joint Committee Investigates Marijuana Use
3. Prostitutes Appeal to Pope
4. Enraged Cow Injures Farmer With Ax
6. Man Struck By Lightning Faces Battery Charge
7. Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
8. Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
9. Two Sisters Reunited After 18 Years at Checkout Counter
10. Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
11. Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
12. Iraqi Head Seeks Arms
13. Kicking Baby Considered to Be Healthy
14. Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One
15. Stolen Painting Found by Tree
16. Actual Headline: Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
17. Drunk Gets Nine Months in Violin Case
18. If Strike Isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While
19. Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges
20. New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
23. Lung Cancer in Women Mushrooms
24. Include Your Children when Baking Cookies
25. Infertility unlikely to be passed on
26. Actual Headline: Work after Death
27. Child's death ruins couple's holiday
28. Milk drinkers are turning to powder
29. Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear
30. Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
31. Lack of brains hinders research
32. New Vaccine May Contain Rabies
33. Two convicts evade noose, jury hung
34. Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted
35. Man Run Over by Freight Train Dies
36. Smokers are productive, but death cuts efficiency
37. How to combat that feeling of helplessness with illegal drugs
38. Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
40. Here's How You Can Lick Doberman's Leg Sores
42. Autos killing 110 a day, let's resolve to do better
43. Something went wrong in jet crash, experts say
44. Larger Kangaroos Leap Farther, Researchers Find
46. Farmer bill dies in house
47. NJ judge to rule on nude beach
48. Chef Throws His Heart into Helping Feed Needy
49. Death causes loneliness, feeling of isolation
50. Plane Too Close to Ground, Crash Probe Told
51. Plot to kill officer had vicious side
52. Arson Suspect Held in Massachusetts Fire
53. Blind woman gets new kidney from dad she hasn't seen in years
54. Low Wages Said Key to Poverty
55. Squad helps dog bite victim
56. Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
57. Bank Drive-in Window Blocked by Board
58. Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
59. House passes gas tax onto senate
60. Dealers will hear car talk at noon