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i ******** hate my parents right now... damn them
stupid fight this morning with my dad freakin can't have a vioce i get blamed won't listen to me.
why should i bother listen to them... when i get yelld at when i get whatever...
i can't do this any more... i can't handle trying to see both sides and defend them both against one another it's tearing me apart... i can't tell who's telling the truth or not they both say one thing and then i get told another.... i don't know
i ******** went blaistic or almost towards my closes friend .... and she did absuloutly nothing... and same with my nanny.... i just want to get away from here i was happy with my friends... i had fun even if at times i was completly bored... but i was happy i didn't have this feeling of horribleness... i just didn't feel all blah and stuff i felt good .....and things that i've sorted in my mind that weren't good are re acuring again... i just don't want to do it any more... and it 's not fair... it's not fair for people i care about seeing em like this getting like this going at them like that.... it's just not
i feel bad for that. i just wish things were differant i wish that the pain would go away the confussion the insainess....
i feel a bit better after this journal post taking forever and thouht about lots of things that i would have said in here... i guess i just feel like i want to wither away not be around no one except two people... who make me happy and i just want to be happy and not feel the way i feel right now...
i know i'm gone blah and probally am over reacting ... though maybe a little... but i dunno any more all i know i just want this to stop... since i hate the fact that i hate being in my own home, cause i do since i become miserable and very hard to handle... it's true i can be a totall tirent ...
anyways thats how i'm feeling.
and i don't hate them hate them... just was really pissed at them