|
hello! i have never kept a diary, so i'm bad at this. |
|
|
|
|
|
|
hi. if you're looking for entertainment, this is the place!
i got funny things to do, funny signs, funny quotes, the deal.
i better get on with it, then.
how to be annoying in the elevator:
1. Announce in a demonic voice: "I must find a more suitable host body."
2. Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.
3. Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.
4. Blow spit bubbles.
5. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
6. Bring a chair along.
7. Burp, and then say "mmmm...tasty!"
8. Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.
9. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: "Got enough air in there?"
10. Do Tai Chi exercises.
11. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers that this is your "personal space."
12. Frown and mutter "gotta go, gotta go" then sigh and say "oops!"
13. Give religious tracts to each passenger.
14. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
15. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: "Shut up, dang it, all of you just shut UP!"
16. Holler "Chutes away!" whenever the elevator descends.
17. If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler "Bad touch!"
18. Lean against the button panel
19. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: "Noogie patrol coming!"
20. Leave a box between the doors.
21. Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.
22. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.
23. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
24. Meow occassionally.
25. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
26. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
27. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go "plink" at the bottom.
28. One word: Flatulence!
29. Play the harmonica.
30. Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.
31. Say "Ding!" at each floor.
32. Say "I wonder what all these do" and push the red buttons.
33. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
34. Shadow box.
35. Shave.
36. Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.
37. Sing "Mary had a little lamb" while continually pushing buttons.
38. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
39. Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce "You're one of THEM!" and move to the far corner of the elevator.
40. Stare at your thumb and say "I think it's getting larger."
41. Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: "I've got new socks on!"
42. Start a sing-along.
43. Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: "Wanna see wha in muh mouf?"
44. Walk on with a cooler that says "human head" on the side.
45. Wear "X-Ray Specs" and leer suggestively at other passengers.
46. Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers "through" it.
47. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
48. When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: "Oh, not now, darn motion sickness!"
49. Whistle the first seven notes of "It's a Small World" incessantly.
boring? well, i told you i never kept a diary.
heart
stay tuned for next time, teh strange pudding fellow
 treeslounge · Tue Jul 29, 2008 @ 11:26am · 0 Comments |
|
|
|
|
|
