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ok i got home from visiting my dads today.
we get inside, start relaxing and mom tells me i got a book from ASU or something
i ask mom what that means for me
she says it means that they want me there
i've sill got two years of high school and i already have a college asking for me?!
thats insane! i mean i hardly am ready to accept the responsibility of driving, i cant even dream about thinking about college! i cant! i just cant function properly with that swirling around in my head.
they must be mistaken, im not smart enough for that. and im not strong enough, but thats a different story
.... i cant do this
i should be glad, having options like this so early, without even looking
but i'm not ready for this
i have too much stress coming from too many directions, i cant handle this right now
not without help and guidance
which i'm sure i have from many people, but i want to become independent
hell, independence is the reason i dont want to take my pills anymore
having to rely on medication to stabilize my mood, my mind, my life
i dont need it, if i have a problem like that i'll fix it on my own as best i can
if i cant do it then its just survival of the fittest, natural selection, as it should be....
sorry ...
anyway, thats my news
 Pyrjess · Sun Jul 27, 2008 @ 07:45am · 1 Comments |
