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Love Doesn't Count In War
I am starting a story called Love Doesn't Count In War and I will post the chapters one by one as I type them. Any one can read it and give me reviews, critiques, and suggestions for it. I would like to publish my own book one day, everyone says I ha
This is the first chapter. His name is Fazen Hunters, and he is a vampyre......

Fazen____________

Light auburn silk across the bare of his creamy white arm, a shiver runs down his back as he can almost taste the metallic taste of the his owns red liquor as it would’ve run down his throat, satisfying this hunger, this emptiness in the pit of his stomach, not able to be controlled unless it is given into.

‘ Jessica Whitewater, 17, only child, raised by her mother. Her mother is an alcoholic, and she is abused.’

Another shiver runs down his spine as she stands close to him, the rhythm of the dance music making her sway, barely brushing him, but the skin that touched him was internally bruised, never to be removed. Turning, his ice violet eyes met hers and he felt a pang of recognition. He ignored it as she smiled. He turned to the waiter and ordered another beverage, the bartender hesitant.

“Are you sure you’re old enough to be drinking?” asked the scruffy man, looking unfazed as he dug his gaze into him. Only mere seconds later he was downing another Coors. Jessica touched his skin barely and he flinched away, afraid if he might have offended her when he was slowly but steadily backing away from her. Her eyes are longing and questioning.

“Fazen……”

He flinches at the name. Only she could hit him that hard and still not know what she had done.

“What is it?” He asks, unbeknownst that she was on the edge.

“I-I want to leave. Now.” direct and to the point. When she was like that, everyone was to follow order and do it immediately. He grabbed their coats and made their way to the alley. She stopped short and turned, holding Fazen’s eyes in place as she shoved him into the wall.

“What the Hell was that for?!” Fazen yelled as Jessica turned to run. And just like that, Poof!, she was gone. He sighed and brushed the red-violet hair from his eyes. Jessica was so unpredictable. But then again, aren’t all women?



Critiques are welcome, or suggestions! FEEL FREE! blaugh

heart Suki


KissMeShawol
Community Member
  • [07/26/08 02:48am]
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