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August 30, 2005
Thanks Chris. The whole thing is really confusing. But my problem is, I'm interested in being a veterinarian assistant. And for that, you go to a school that just teaches you that, not a college. But I found out it paid less than I thought. And it's almost not worth paying to go to the school and doing all the work because it only pays slightly more than minimum wage. But it's what I'm interested in. Still I don't want to be stuck with a job that pays crap. If I go to college, I have to wait until January because it already started. Which means sitting around doing nothing again. I really don't feel like doing that. Plus I already went to college last year and failed. I'm afraid I'll end up just failing again. Then I'll just have wasted my time. And also I don't have any idea what I want to study if I go to college. I'm interested in the animal thing, but like I said, there's problems with the pay. So I'm worried about going to college and then never finding something that I actually want to do... And now my dad just made things even harder on me because he made some appointment for me to take tests to see what learning disabilities I have so that if I do go anywhere I have proof that things are harder for me and can get help, but he made the appointment the day after the vet assistant school starts... So now it's almost like I can't go to that school now because there's no way I could miss the second day of class. And I don't know if he can or will reschedule it. The whole thing is just crazy. I dunno what to do. Kaz already thinks I'm stupid, so do a lot of other people, and I'm sick of it, and they'll all just keep thinking I'm stupid if I never go to college so that's the other problem too. Kaz thinks he's so great and wonderful now. I can't stand it. But I'm being on my best behavior for him. I dunno if it'll do any good. I'm sure he's proud of himself for being able to do his own laundry. rolleyes And today was just boring. Like always. I found Josh's My Space so I went to it. He's already found a girlfriend. That's just like Josh. Just moved there and hasn't even been there a month and he's already found a girlfriend. XD I dunno how he does it. I would never be able to find someone that fast. Why is it so hard for me? Well at least there's Bobby who I've yet to go out with though, but Stephanie IMed me and said his car is fixed so that's good, hopefully he'll take me somewhere this weekend. Dunno how that will go.
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