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I first thought it was nothing
That you where just another human
Nothing more
How was I to know how close you'd become

I want you to know me
I want to be able to cry in front of you
There's something holding me back though
I cannot find the strength to speak

I should be able to show my emotions to you
Anything I feel I want you to know
Pain, suffering, and anything else
I can't though...I'm to afraid

Forgive me but I cannot
I cannot let anyone else into my heart
For all I ever recieved in return
In a pain that tortures me

~~~~~~~

Okay I needed to type something like that. I could go into detail why but I'd rather not.

Well, school starts next week. I cannot say I'm happy about that. For me school is just another place where I wear my mask, nothing more, nothing less. It is no differnt from my home or anywhere else. I wonder...maybe I because I always wear this mask. Will it come off when the time comes when I find someone who I know will accept the real me? I doubt anyone will accept the real me, I mean...not many people even accept the mask, why would the want to be with the real me when the mask is an improvement over the real?

Perhaps it is my own weakness and lack of ability to let go that caused all of this. Things of the past and the scars are all things that I cling to. I do not cling to the scars, but rather i'd like to cling to the one who gave me these scars. I hope you do understands the scars are not real ones but ones left on the mind and soul. If not then you might as well stop reading now you won't understand and I'd be surprised if you understood anything up to now.

For those who do understand you may continue. I thought about some things and I realized something thatis common sense but I'm not going to explain too much. I realized that I'm just a human. Nothing special from everyone else. The only thing that makes me differnt is just my darkness. The darkness that is caused by other people.

Humans are cruel creatures. We look at animals and say they are feirce and ruthless. Yet we seem to forget all the things we've done wrong. The destruction, chaos, death. It's been going on as long as man has exsisted on this earth. We ill destroy each other and this planet because that is what we are. Creatures of destruction, riding on chaos and power.

~Shadow