Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Well, unfortunately my life seems to continue on as always. The update of my life is nothing all that spectacular. I have my car. My prom is this Saturday at 7 and I'm going with Josh. Our friends Lori and Taylor are coming too and we are all going to dinner....somewhere...not really sure where, but from there we're going to prom and the theme is Vegas I guess. Then afterward we are going to try to find an open Dairy Queen and hang out. So it sounds like fun I guess. Aside from that....nothing really good. School sucks right now and I can't wait to get out at the end of May. Then graduation! FINALLY! Can't wait for that one.....but aside from that...I can. xp

I've had a lot of stress that's been building and I seem to be more easily aggrivated and angered...which I have a hard time controling how I deal with it lately. I'm really sick of all this stress from school and....other things. I did something last week....that I was kind of stressed about at first, but then went along with it. I don't regret it becuase I have come to some decisions and I have talked to some friends and I've finally decided on my own what I need to do to stop feeling this way. But it doesn't change how I feel about it or anything, especially until after I get through it.

This weekend was Mother's day.....I felt bad because between the stress and a hope that didn't matter in the end, I was bringing my mom down and making her worry a lot about me. I was quite and kept to myself Friday and Saturday for the most part, and I didn't want to be bothered. My mom kept asking my what was wrong becuase I couldn't hide my feelings and put on a happy face for her which I felt bad for - and I couldn't answer her either. I cried Saturday night a lot and was so frustrated and sick of everything.....and I gave up worrying about it. But earlier Saturday I freaked my mom out becuase I told her that I was going for a walk becuase I had an urgent need to get out of the house, even though I already had driven and was out of the house for a couple of hours earlier. So I went for a walk along the road going towards Raymond and took a detour along the powerlines away from the road when I came across them because I desperately needed to get out like that.....even though I was trespassing. But either way I wakled along the powerlines and it was nice, then when I came back out I knew I should probably head home but I decided to go farther until I crossed a little bit into Raymond and then I turned back. When I was coming upon my driveway I saw my mom and Hank getting ready to pullout but then they went back up the driveway. I didn't realize it but I had been gone for an hour and 15mins. My mom and Hank had been extremely worried that something happeneed to me. So ya, I felt bad and I apologized to my mom several times. But Mother's Day I actually tried harder to make it a nice day for her and she had a good day atleast.

But so ya, I haven't been the greatest. But I am happy that I have decided for sure what I am going to do.....I just hope that I can do it when the time comes...becuase I haven't been able to for the past 3 months when I came to this point. But I want to say - I'm sorry.