Don’t be afraid of the dark. It’s something we are told constantly as a child, something we are assured is reasonable and true, that there is no creature of ill intent lurking within the shadows around the bend. But truly, we are never freed of our fears, never quit fully severing the shivering child that wishes to bathe in the comforting light of revealing security.
I have seen this very often in children, and in myself as well, the desire to erase all unknown variables, to fully explore the possibilities so there remains no unknown thing to be frightened of. In my belief, it is why we feel the need to investigate and explore as children, particularly in boys, the ones who are often expected to be more fearless. Seeing something that we do not know, such as a dark cave or hearing a mysterious wail, many youths will eagerly set off to find the truth of the cave, the source of the scream, if all for the sake of knowing. For in knowing there is security.
Yet all to often, I see this trait flicker and disappear as we grow older, the adventurous spark put out. And in many cases, a we reach our in between years, when our craving for individuality and self-definition is at it’s peak, our preference for the light changes. Feeling superior to those more aged then we, we loose interest in the light, finding the darkness more appealing, for the fear has been switched, no longer do thoughts of wolves hidden in the shadows scare us, no, the chief fear now is of the truth. The truth that we are not as great as we seem, that we are as flawed as anyone, and fear of the wider truths and importance’s of the world.
And so the darkness becomes out ally, blocking away the real nature of things, assuring us that what we perceive is simply the reality of things. Perhaps it is for this reason that many youths of my age seem to love the color of black, although that is a very iffy and ill supported theory.
In any case, with the dark now aiding us, the light, and the truth, become hated enemies, and we rebel, fighting the majority and the typical, claiming conformity and the expected to be hated enemies, looking for ways to be different and unique. As with anything, this is not true for every single person, but for the larger part of things, it seems to be true, at least to me. And for that reason, I invite, and also warn you to be skeptical of my thoughts on this matter, even to reject them outright. For I am no better. This is my difference, my own form of rebelling as it were, I myself am going through that stage where the truth scares me beyond most other things. I am in truth a very egotistical man, by admitting to my failings and my own inferiority, I believe myself to be above others, and for that reason I will often put myself down, for there is also a part of me that fears my ego, the enemy I hate and fear the most.
Enough of that though, I do not intend to ramble on about myself.
Before continuing, I would like to point out that people who are not dark and rebellious, as I seem to have portrayed people in this writing, are not the only ones who fall under the comforting blanket of the unknown. Those who many call conformists, or happy and popular people, are in truth much the same, only they have had different circumstances. Although their darkness may be different, it serves much of the same purpose, blocking out and forcing them to reject what is contrary to their own belief.
Perhaps that is why we wear black at the funeral, and why the reaper is always dressed in similar color, because we wish it all to remain a mystery, for we fear the truth of death, the greatest of all mysteries.
But in truth, it is a very improper color for such things, and it is the reason for the name I have given to this writing. The reaper wears white, for he alone can show us the truth of death.
But there is hope it seems. No matter how strong a hold the unknown dark has on us, we always seek answers. Whether simple or meaningful, we will always have questions we wish answered, just as surly as we will always need the light of the sun, so will we always need the light of truth. And so we must hope that we can find our truth, and that in the end, it will win out against the false.
It is said that the brightest light casts the longest shadows. While this may be true, there is an important fact left out of this saying, the fact that the shadows can only exist the wake of the lights obstacles. Thus, it is in this that I draw my belief, that the pure and uninterrupted light, free of all influences of religion, perception and illusion, will bring us to the truth, with no shadows lurking in sight.
And so this is how I will try to live for now, perhaps I am horribly wrong and what I have written is a blasphemy of the truth. If that turns out to be the case, I can only say sorry, and adjust my thoughts accordingly. Because, if we simply waited around for someone to tell us the truth, or take others as our own, like so many people seem to do, we can not move forward.
So do not listen to me, do not agree with what I say, and find your own truth.
View User's Journal
Confessions of a Crowned Clown
To be honest, I'm probably going to be using this as a place to vent out my thoughts when they get built up enough, and hopefully use it to help me sort through some things.
 |
everroyal
Community Member |
User Comments: [1]
|
User Comments: [1]