We are the center. In each of our minds- some may call it arrogance, or selfishness- we are the center, and all the world moves about us, and for us, and because of us. This is the paradox of community, the one and the whole. Who among us has not wondered if all the world is no more then a personnel dream?
I do not believe that such thoughts are selfish or arrogant. It is simply a matter of perception; we can empathize with someone else, but we cannot truly see the world as another might see it, or judge events and happenings as they affect the heart and mind of another, even a friend.
But we must try. For the sake of everything in all the world, we must try. This is the test of altruism, the most basic and undeniable ingredient for society. Therein lies the paradox, for ultimately, logically, we each must care more about ourselves than about others, for this is merely the norm of human nature, and yet, as rational beings, if we follow that course, we place our needs and desires above those of our society, and then there is no community.
I come from a world where self is the predominant factor of thought. I have seen that way of selfishness. And I have seen it fail miserably. When self-indulgence rules, then all community loses, and in the end, those striving for personnel gains are left with nothing of any real value.
Because everything of value that we will come to know in this life comes from our relationships with those that surround us. Because there is nothing material that measures against the intangibles of love and friendship. For those that do not think this true, think to why people seek material possessions, it is because of how these possessions make them feel that they seek them out, and thus all our wants are somehow tied to an emotional want.
Thus, we must overcome our selfishness and we must try; we must care. I see this truth plainly whenever someone a care for is hurt because of something I have done, if indirectly, or because of my past. However, if I were to learn that the trouble was spawned from some part of their life, and no mine, I would have more then twice the heart for the fight.
Why is that? The affects to me are no less, nor are they to my friend, or to any other about us.
Yet the emotions are real, very real, And I recognize and understand them, if not their source. Now, in reflection, I recognize that source, and take pride in it. I have seen the failure of self-indulgence; I have run from such a world. I would rather die because of a friends past then have them die because of my own. I would suffer the physical pains, even the end of my life. Better that then watch one I love suffer because of myself. I would rather have my physical heart torn from my chest, then have my heart of hearts- if it may be called that- the essence of my love and compassion, the need to belong to something larger then that of my corporal form, destroyed.
However, that is not to say that, were the life of someone a hold dear to end, I would cease my life as well, no, that would not do anything to change what had already been wrought, to live on and keep the memory of those passed on alive, that is the thing best to do, both for the deceased and for yourself, to keep the love of them in your heart forevermore.
They are a curios thing, these emotions. How they fly in the face of logic, how they overrule the most basic instincts. Because, in the measure of time, in the measure of humanity, we sense those self-indulgent instincts to be a weakness, we sense that the needs of the community must outweigh the desires of one. Only when we admit to our failures and recognize our weaknesses can we truly rise above them.
Together.
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Confessions of a Crowned Clown
To be honest, I'm probably going to be using this as a place to vent out my thoughts when they get built up enough, and hopefully use it to help me sort through some things.
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everroyal
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