Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

I'm in one of those sparks of depression again and ya its getting old i know but i cant help it....its seems like my friends are getting farther and farther aways from me...or im getting farther away from them...that is one thing i havent desided yet..

It's may seem like im happy with my friends but im not...my past is eating at me inside and anything i try either makes it worse or does nothing at all....my stupid counseller is telling me i might have clinical depression but i have to see her alittle bit more before she can say for sure...and for me that is probly the worse thing for me to hear right about now...the thought of being on meds is scary for me and i hate the very thought of it. I'm fighting with my family again ya i know big shocker right and i hate living at my house i cant even be in my room without my family bugging me for soething that could be done someother time.....



I'm a bit connfused about why im even here and why im alive because i dont feel alive and to tell you the truth i wish i was dead...death is really the only thing i can look forward too..no more worrying about if im making people happy or if im just hurting them, no more thinking about school work or my future, no more thinking about the world and how its going down the shitter...and if there is a God like my family keeps telling me there is...why is he putting me throught this if he was such a loving god wouldnt he make things better for good people...or maybe thats just another lie that i have been told



I dont know anymore and to tell you the truth i dont care