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Yesterday was ******** awful. My whole WEEKEND was ******** awful. Friday was spent at Meijer doing job training on a computer for three horus then walking fourty minutes home, Jarrod said he'd call me later and he didn't so I worried all night after calling them until two in the morning. Turns out Tony went to some street races with his cousin and got their wallets stolen and their stereo system ripped out and couldn't find the phone until the next day. It'd fallen under the seat...

Saturday I went out with Jarrod and..well...it was a typical day with Jarrod, wrestling with people, eating, game or two, nookie, cuddle time...Jane said I had to come home at eight because we were doing stuff early tomorrow so I, though pissed, went along and came home at eight.

She and my cousins didn't get home till almost ten. Pissed me off a bit.
So I was in my boxers just doing the laundry after waiting two weeks to do it for fear of being bitched at and she says, "Come on, we have to go to Beth's to feed the dogs since she's on vacation." And pissy me didn't wanna go. ******** no, not in my boxers with my wet hair. But after her waiting in the driveway and honking for five minutes I gave in. Even though there was no point to me going. Oh, and what they were at was the Lucas county fair, I didn't go because Jane said she's rather see me happy and gave me the choice of either going with Jarrod or going to the fair. I choose Jarrod over 1. Sun 2. Loud Children 3. Large Crowds 4. The Heat.
I thought it was a wise choise but obviously she was pissed at me for it.

Shouldn't have offered it.

So we got into it because she asked why I was soo moody and I didn't wanna say it was because there was no point in me coming home so early and I was trying to finally do my ******** laundry.

BLAH!!!!!

So Jane, fighting with me, ran her van into a telephone pole. Nice going Jane. So the whole trip to Beth's was arguing and I lied to her and said I had already talked to Jarrod about it and I was just tired now. Jane got pissed. Apparantly my lover isen't supposed to be as good of a confidant as my aunt. Who the ******** knew, eh?

So she stopped the car in the middle of the raod at eleven at night and wouldn't move until I lied again and said I was worried because mom had told me I had half brothers and sisters through adoption. I've never known this before and it was something that was bothering but it wasn't my main concern. It bothered me because those brothers and sisters could've looked for me or something, I went through foster care and they never looked for me or sought out to be a part of my family.

Well damn.

So after arguing the whole way we finally got home and went goodnight.
Next day we went to pick up my crazy a** mother from a nursing home. Plaza care, she's in the psychiatric lockup unit. I hate white walls, I have nightmares about them all the damn time and I walked down the halls with Jane next to me saying, "Smile, dammit, be happy, what's wrong with you?"
WHAT DO YOU THINK?! I HATE BEING HERE AND DON'T WANT YOU NEAR MY MOTHER YOU BIG GIANT ********!!!

I sound very bitchy, don't I? I don't care. Soon you'll see the icing on the cake.

But yeah, before we'd gone in she's said, "So is Jarrod going to be waiting for us at home?" I said, "No...why...?" "Because I thought you said you're mother stressed you out and you needed him to be there." That pissed me off. That was about last ngihts thing in the car and she was mocking me.
This is why I never talk to her. The less she knows the better.

So we got mom, dragged her to Grandma who's also in a nursing home and dying. Grandma kept syaing she wanted to die and she didn't care, she didn't hold any emotion besides melancholy. Poor grandma. Jane's pissed at her and wishes she'd hurry up and croak because she's hated her her whole life.

We left. We came home. Every time I got near my mom Jane pointed out something negative. Finally she asked me to call Jarrod at FIVE because mom said she wanted to meet him. Lovely, I did and Tony said sure. SIX I'm waiting, hiding upstairs and popping up and down stairs everyonce in awhile just so it didn't seem like I was hiding. SEVEN I call back and Tiff answers the phone, tells me Jarrod started walking FROM ROSSFORD TO MAUMEE to meet me, starts yelling at someone in the background and hangs up on me. I wait till EIGHT. I wait till NINE, fix dinner for everyone, get yelled at because Jane asked where Jarrod was and I told her he was walking and she freaked out at me and said he had a short temper and now she didn't want him over. Yells that just ebcause he' walking doesn't mean he can spend the night. I stalk inside so I don't rip into her in front of my mom, who dosn't need that s**t.

-Huff-

Jarrod shows up at NINE THIRTY just before we were about to talk mom home and gets yelled at by Jane when she answers the door. Poor me was slow to get downstairs, eh. I wanted to ******** jump over Jane while she wagged her finger at him and hug the s**t out of him because HE WALKED FROM ROSSFORD TO PERRYSBURG TO SEE MY MOTHER BECAUSE HE WANTED TO MEET HER AND THOUGHT IT'D MAKE ME HAPPY.

Which Jane doesn't understand.We took mom back, Jarrod being pleasent with jane in the car and chit chatting with me in the back. Jane syas she wants Jarrod to be picked up at ELEVEN THIRTY. So I called Tony and he said Cornbread had the car and he couldn't get ahold of him and he'd call us when he could. Fine. Jarrod and I went for a walk with a nice bag of cold peanut M&Ms and a bottle of cold water. Made me happy, we trotted around the park and came back. I called Tony and got the same answer and ran and told Jane because it was ELEVEN THIRTY. She didn't believe me and called Tony herself. He gave her the same answer. Jane insisted Tony was high off his a** on drugs and shoved the phone at me and gave me a minor yell. Tony always sounds high, he just has one of those drawling voices. Jane didn't take that.

So Jarrod and I went downstairs and he rolled his tired self into the chair and tried to well...beg me to come over and cuddle with him. Yes he begged, it was cute, I suppose...
Ahem, anyways, I swatted him playfully and said no, hiding the real reason behiend this playfulness. Really I didn't want Jane to come downstairs and see us curled up on her leather chair.
She'd s**t a brick.

I gave in though and had him move to the couch where he laid his head in my lap and put his hand on my erm....about mid thigh to knee region. I was wearing a skirt. I wasn't even thinking he'd sneak up it because Jarrod's just not that perverted or groapy. Jarrod has never Groaped me. Never. I was used to it with Mike but Jarrod just won't do it.

Jane saw. She snuck down the stairs and I had time to jiggle my knee and wake Jarrod up before she hit the floor. Immediatly I get screamed at. Apparently what Jane saw was Jarrod wide awake and toying with me under my skirt. Yes, while I was watching TV. e.e....Gods...So she hollars, runs upstairs then asks for me. I go upstairs and we start in. She keeps insisting Jarrod was being a perv on me and she saw and I can't deny it, he was wide awake. I heard him sort of gasp for air when I shook my knee to wake him up, so I know he was sleeping. She won't take me insisting he wasn't touching at me so she smacks my arm and screams at me to get Jarrod out, make him sleep outside then yells at me to get out of her room. Fine.

I walk downstairs and find Jarrod right at the bottom of the steps with his arms crossed looking like he's about to walk past me, open her door, and ram his ist down her throat. And he tells me in this quick and cold voice that he'd kick her a** at that moment if I let him. I told him no and he asked if she hurt me. Yeah, I told him, she's smacked my shoulder.

Now Jarrod's not a big guy, he's exactly as tall as I am at 5'7 but he' built. He has muscle in his stomach that looks like pudge turned muscle and it is. He's built. I doubt there's an ounce of fat on him. Tempting to let him beat Jane up. Very tempting but I love him too much and know that Jane knows the magical three numbers to dial.

So I drag him outside and we sit and talk and I try to cool him down and hope either him or I don't cry and we wait for a call. No calls...at ONE TWENTY Jane popped out and said she was locking the doors and would call the cops if I wasn't inside. Oh yeah, she'd been threatening to do that all night, cal the cops on Jarrod.
So we call Tony and explain it to Cornbread and they say they're finally on their way. I had to leave Jarrod outside alone. Eh, felt awful.

I went inside. Went to me room, changed, crawled into bed. Nothing, silence.
THREE FOURTY Jarrod calls and asks if I'm alriht, says he got home and stuff and insists I go back to sleep.

Got up this morning, showered, heard nothing about last night. Jane was pleasent with me and acted like nothing happened. Wait till the counselor on thursday, she's going to tear into me then. I swear Jarrod was asleep, I'm not stupid enough to let him toy with me when anyone else is around, ESPECIALLY NOT JANE. The woman needs ramming soo bad I bet she could smell sex a mile away.

There, I'm done. I'm tired of typing this all out and reliving it now. Goodbye.