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So you might as well have a good time.


Ahh, the miracle of life. Seconds after daddy rolled off mommy and started going to sleep, my savage brain was already forming. I like to think that it was first filled with murder thoughts. Then, it was brutally attacked by cannibis, nicotine and alcohol.. ahh, fetal low birth weight, eat your heart out. Mayhap I was doomed to be a ******** from the beginning. Eternally addled by drugs and booze, my resolve to cause grevious damage only strengthened by abusive bastards and elitist assholes. Life is an absolute ******** joy. Molded into some obscure hybrid of Bill hicks, Spider jerusalem, Will hunting (mostly for childhood memories, oh yeah), and John Cusak. I'm an amalgamation of hate, lust, spite, anger, wit, sarcasm, cynicism, sex appeal, and a general b*****d aptitude that is so high, it's off the ******** charts. Yet, people tolerate me. Some people love me. Some people have crushes on me. Some people have lustful fantasies of my naked, gleaming body, covered in sweat and testosterone, seeping hormones and pheromones. Other people have fantasies of me on a pike. It's all about balance. It may sound like narcissism, but people who beleive that have s**t for brains.

I'm getting really sick of people. Not everyone, just certain specific people. People who are so dulled and gullible that they beleive the lies that are force-fed to them every day. People who think they aren't worth a hillfull of dead babies unless they are making 200k a year. Who *must* go to ivy-league schools, with 4.0 gpa's, or they are nothing but s**t. People who swallow all the crap their parents and peers shove down their throats about self-worth, and "you're better than this". People who beleive these lies so utterly and completely, that they transform this mindless drive into a *need*. Who cannot differentiate between cold, hard facts, and the bullshit spewed forth so readily by their friends, family, and media. There's a massive difference between WANT and NEED. The sad truth of the matter is, you can't always get what you want, and you need about 5% of what you think you do. Everything else, that other 95%, is all want that they've been so pummeled with, they change it into a need. It's fine to want things. It's a base human drive. Going after what you want. (by the way, I'm also very, very sick of the ignorant ******** among you that want some things, or people so ******** badly, and yet do nothing at all to get it. You have to work for things, you stupid ******** bastards.) If you go after it, and you don't get it, don't just collapse. Either move on, or keep trying. Notice also, how moving on is not the same as giving up. Some things, you can't have right now. Some things, you can never have. If you accept it, and change your goals, that's not giving up. Changing your mind is never defeat.

Anyways, I rant. I rave. My literary testicles are so swollen right now, that you're probably gagging on all of this. Well, ******** you, no one forced you to read this far. pirate

Anyways, back to the abuse of your eyes.

Now that my good friend Fube has ben struck down with a case of monoherpasephalyddis, my literary reserves are all backed up. Just waiting to burst in a verabal bukkake of words and startlingly graphic images and metaphors. Yes, you heard it here first.. "verbal bukkake". This is my legacy, my gift to the rest of the world. Suck it all down like ambrosia, you teeming masses.

Finally finished collecting transmet. The whole series is now in my evil little hands.

And it's GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD.

Yes, I needed all those o's.

If you read all of this.. well, what are you? Stupid.. s**t.. That's 10 minutes of your life you're never getting back. They're mine now. Hope it was worth a chuckle or two. Maybe you peed a little. That would totally rock.

Leave votes on if I should post the Gayboi photo here or not.
C'mon, it's something to do.. pirate