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Part 1: The Darkness of Living

It was not really surprising that Sasuke's return to Konoha was almost traumatic, he didn't speak, he just lay in a hospital bed. He was almost always sleeping, he lay in the hospital and seemed a little sick too. He slept still when Sakura was came to put some food on a table next to him.

When he did wake, he just gazed outside a window, he was almost unable to speak. "Excuse me," Sasuke turned his head at the sound of a very soft voice and blinked at who was speaking. "I was wondering, where is Naruto-kun?"

What is her name again? Sasuke blinked at her and pointed to the room next door, his memories were slightly jumbled and so he couldn't quite remember what happened when he fought Naruto. He just remembered that he couldn't breath very well until it was too late.

He started to walk almost a day ago, he walked to the window gazing outside, he wondered if Naruto had come to yet. He walked into the room next to his and looked in, the blond was eating and looked over at the girl who had asked Sasuke where he was. "Hinata-chan, are you sure this is all right?"

She smiled and looked up. "Um....er....I...."

"Oh, come on, you're going to sputter?" Naruto blinked at her and smiled. "I am tired."

"I will let you sleep," she walked out and shut the door and jumped when she saw Sasuke in the hall. "Aren't you...well, supposed to be in bed?"

****

Sasuke found himself at the Konohagure Orphanage Dorms, he walked up to the doors and knocked, he was handed a key by the house mother. Walking through the halls, he looked up as he saw the door to his room. He put the key in the lock and opened the rather dusty room up and stared around him. It smelled like someone attempted to clean in here before he arrived.

The refrigerator was empty, his clothes were where he left them. "Was I ever this small?" he wondered to himself gazing at the clothes that were hanging in the closet. He remembered that when he lived here from the age of eight to twelve that this was his world.

He opened the window lighting the dust out, he started to clean his room, he looked around again at the room. He went to a box that was on a shelf in the closet, he pulled it toward his bed and removed some of the clothes from within, some were durable, the others were pretty bad. He pulled some shirts out that were about his size, he pulled it over his head, while he tried it on he looked in a mirror.

It was itchy, he pulled it off and walked up to an empty basket dropping the clothes in it and started to walked through the halls toward the cleaning area. He looked up as the house mother who glared at him, he sat down at a bench.

He did his laundry and then turned around as someone walked into the room, he never made many friends. It was even worse when he had been living in the Sound Village's hidden world.

"That's Orochimaru-sama's slut," he remembered someone saying from a distance when he first came there, he didn't challenge this person.

The laundry rooms in the Sound Village was pretty quiet, he would sit doing his laundry. He wondered though why he felt like someone was watching him, he was examined his clothes after they dried, then stopped when he saw Orochimaru looking at him. "We need to do a medical examination," the snake like man smiled at him as he walked off to get his own clothing. "By the way, your shirt that you wore here is beyond repair, we'll have someone fit you with something a little more suitable for you."

That was the starting point, but when it was realized that it was something else that Orochimaru wanted. who was doing the examination. When it was pretty strange incident, Sasuke remembered waking up in a bed, he was dressed in nothing. He pulled a blanket over his body and had no idea what had happened. Was I hurt? Was I raped? It never occurred to Sasuke that people were like that. He dressed in the new clothes and rushed away to train, what he didn't realize was that he looked like a girl.

When he returned to Konohagure, he had cut his hair and looked a little more like he used to. Karin and the rest of his team scattered, he didn't want to see them. He wanted something in this place, somehow he felt he had to return.

"Hey, Sasuke-kun, welcome home!" he turned around see Ino waving to him, he stared at her curious as to why these people were always so nice to him when he wasn't nice back.

He walked back to his room and looked around the darkened areas, he took a deep breath and sat down on his bed which he stripped. He started to dress the bed and then put a clean blanket on it. He walked around the room and then dropped something onto the floor. He looked down and saw a teddy bear, it was sad looking as he picked it up. He touched its face and wondered what was so special that caused him in his younger years to keep something like this.

He remembered the first time he was brought to the dormatory, he remembered just being sick to his stomach. He remembered crying, he wanted to sob, he wanted to scream when he was little.

****

"Sasuke-kun," Sakura was knocking on the door to Sasuke's bedroom, he opened the door and gazed at her. "Um...they said that you were released, I'm just doing a follow up exam that's..."

He looked at her, he walked up to his bed, he sat down on it and sighed. "I am tired."

"Sasuke-kun, please," she smiled at him.

Nodding gently, she walked into the room, she made her examination. "Well, at least you're going to be eating."

"I'm not...I'm not hungry."