Breath...
Your fine...
******** Drama Queen...
Cut it out!
I don't need help. I need control. I need air.
I just have to breathe. I've been acting all wierd lately, even for me. Ever since the suicide help thing made a presentation at my school. I started thinking. Thinking WAY too hard about suicide. I wrote ******** suicide notes! Fake ones, but still.
I am not suicidal! Hell no! But why am I making a big deal with blood, slitting wrists, emo stuff?! Anorexia?!!
My best friend KK asked me those very same things when she discovered one note. I was all down and stuff. And I don't know. Seriously.
Gah! I'm just confused!
I am not fat. I have a great life. Burrito is my closet guy friend. I have a ton of great friends. My grades are practically perfect. I'm completely innocent! So why do I act like this?!
Something is wrong. Over the summer I was so... cheery. I still am, except when I'm by myself. I shouldn't be left alone. But I sorta like it. It gives me time to think. I'm not into the whole new year resolution thing but, well, I don't care when it starts but I have to stop. Before I kill myself over nothing.
I have my friends for who I am. And I am not all wierd and messed up. I have to breathe. Just breathe.
There's nothing else I really can do.
I'll be fine. I'm a normal, bizzare girl. Bizzare in a way that I'm irreplaceable. Not the suicidal chick I feel like.
I have nothing against emos and the anorexic I understand... to a certain degree. But most of all I realize this whole act just isn't me. So I'll just breathe. heart
