I want to be like those picture perfect teenage girls. No. This is me we're talking about. The most I could ever be is what I am right now. Wait. If I was skinny I'd be pretty. Then I'd maybe be good enough. I'm not necessairly fat (according to my best friends and Burrito heart ). I wear a size Xsmall-medium. But that's not saying much. To be beautiful I have to be like those girls in the magazine. Protrayed as beautiful. It's not the inside. It is you have to be empty inside. Nothing but bones and blood. That's all you are. That's the essence, core. That's perfection. If only. I exercise a lot. But not to the point where I'm anorexic looking. I do not have an eating disorder. I think it's just all mental. All my problems. Mental. I compare myself. To those photoshoped images that haunt me because that's what I'll never be.
I don't want to be her^^. No. I do. Really. I want to starve. But I can't. I'm too weak. This comparison is making me weak. I must stop. I do not want to be her.
Starvation is control
Control is tough
Bones are beautiful
When thin is no longer enough.
I'll admit, I need help. sweatdrop
