Yeah, so, this is most likely to be just an angsty ramble that I must share with the world...
There is this one guy who I just want to smack across the face and say, "You're a fool! Why must you put yourself through this much pain over a girl that doesn't deserve you?!?" But the trouble is, he and I haven't spoken much in a while so if I suddenly sprung that idea on him while he's already down, it would just be plain cruel.
And also, it'd make me a hypocrite. Because i'm putting myself through a bunch of pain just to get a glance at you-know-who to satisfy me for the day. A glance at his smiling face, though it's what I always crave to see, causes me physical pain, because I know that I can't have him, and that he's happy with someone else.
i know, I can't get everything I want in life. I know that. I preach that! And I know that if he wasn't happy, it'd break my heart. So I'm glad that he's happy with someone else, but my eyes are starting to turn green with jealousy.
No, I haven't seen the girl yet; I think that it's a long distance relationship that used to be short-distance.
And he has no clue of how I feel; I haven't talked to him much at all.
Heh... if guy #1 who's a fool saw me now, he'd probably tell me the same thing I'd tell him: "You're a fool! Why must you put yourself through so much pain over someone who doesn't deserve you?!?"
Well, then I'd be speechless and understand why he put himself through so much pain in the first place.
Because it's just too damn satisfying to see the angel of your dreams smile.
Now if guy#1 is reading this, which I doubt he is, I'll just tell him that I understand how he feels, and I understand how much that hurts, but just to give it a break for a while, maybe date a female friend or something....
And if he gave me the same advice, to try to date a male friend, then I'd say, "That's impossible. All of my male friends are either in a relationship or gay." And then I'd laugh because it's true.
Seriously. All the good male friends that I have that are single are gay. Not that they aren't awesome, but still....
*sigh* Well, I've been feeling pretty crappy lately, and I have a pile of homework that I've gotta get to tomorrow. So I should probably be getting to bed soon...
And maybe my fantasies would finally become reality, so I'd never be teased by dreams again......
This is Horse lady, signing out.
Katie Sea Community Member 
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