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It doeeesssss, precious.

Dude. Seriously. It was worth the nine-hour drive just to see the carp. Yes, carp as in the fish, not the other word that looks like carp. They're Israeli carp, to be specific.

Anyway, it was fun. And now, time for WHAT I LEARNED ON MY VACATION:

1. There are actually places called the River Ni and Cape Fear.
2. If you feed Israeli carp, they will literally flop all over each other to get to the food, then they will follow you with their fishy faces sticking above the water, and STARE at you until you feed them more. And the more you feed them, the more come. It's eerie, especially because they're huge. Like, a foot and a half long. That may not sound big, but for a fish, it's big. And they have huge mouths that gape at you constantly as they beg for food. (The Myrtle Beach people swear they're not actually starving their fish to produce this behavior.)
3. Dance Dance Revolution is great, because you can impress other people's parents, who will not care if your legs are pasty and have not seen the light of day for nearly a year - they only care that you can hit all the arrows and get a good score.
4. Every store in Myrtle Beach has T-shirts relating to either the rebel flag or marijuana.
5. Small children pwn me in ever possible way.
6. It is a bad idea to drink a 20-ounce bottle of Mountain Dew when you will be stuck in a car for 8 hours. Even if you do get a potty break, the caffeine/sugar combo will drive you INSANE.