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But I can't stand you being on lining crew. I can't stand you having anything to do with it. It always makes me think about before, when you were obsessed with it. I tried not to care, but it didn't work. You tried to take breaks so you could be with me, but soon that was gone. And before I knew it I was alone at band practices. I could have just walked off and gone home and you wouldn't have noticed until the rehearsal was over.

I just can't handle that again. That's why I wanted to stop you before it began again. I'm sorry if you like lining crew. I feel like such a b***h telling you what to do. But everything you do directly influences my thoughts and feelings. So I have to stop you or my spiritual and physical being are at stake.

Do you remember what I said a while ago?



I'm sorry that I'm so sensitive about things. I'm sorry that I can't be perfect and totally understanding like Tomoyo-chan. I hope you're not upset with me. I need you right now more than ever. There's something very wrong with me- be it bipolar disorder, clinical depression, or just another case of PMS. I am very upset all the time, and until I can figure out what's wrong, my feelings will most likely be very fickle and very easily hurt.

I hope that you'll help me get better so that I'm not sad all the time. I think that's why I'm so little and weak.