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Did you ever have one of those days when you woke up and wished that you weren't there, that everything around you was just another dream within a dream, and that when you woke up again that you'd be in a happier place? I know I do, sometimes. But then I look around and see all the loving people around me and I dont' feel so alone.

But thats' in real life. It's switched. I used to feel so alone in real life, as if there was no one I coudl talk to or hold onto. But now I feel that way on the internet. Where once I had tons of friends to talk to, I have maybe one or two I actually keep in touch with. Where I used to want to spend every waking moment working on things for friends or myself I just feel are a chore now. Where I used to make myself sick just to stay up late in the night talking to someone, I feel bored of it. It's not a good thing, but then again it is.

Because I have friends in real life now. I have peopel who care about me, where as I used to have NO ONE at all. Sure, my family was great. But when it came to friends, I had no one. Squat. zero...NADA. But that's changed. I went to a new school this year for computer progamming and networking (boo...cisco sucks >.< wink And not only did I find the man of my life, whom I love with every fiber of my being and all the depth of my soul, but freinds I can trust. Sure, they may all be boys, and sure, they all may be completely dorks, but they are my dorks and who is to say that I'm not a dork myself, neh? They love anime, I love anime. They read manga, I read manga. I want a game, they have it and I borrow it. We are interconnected, a group of people who just know what they like and go with it. We dont' need to hide behind faces, and I like that.

My "friends" if that's what they are called from my old school were never like that. They thought my anime and manga obbssesion unhealthy and stupid, they thought that games weren't that great (at least the ones I liked) and most of all, THEY STEPPED ALL OVER MY FEELINGS. It wasn't a good thing.

But why am I telling all you gaians about this on my little journal here? Because I know that no one is reading, and if someone is, I'm surprised. I wanted to let my feelings out, and if you really wanted to take the time to read it and really see how I feel inside. Take a couple minutes to try and understand me, maybe even a couple more to comment and tell me what you think. That would make you a good person in my eyes. Someone worthy of my kindness and happiness, I need friends here on gaia folks. I'm lonely, and I'm sad. And I NEED help. I'm not gonna leave gaia easily, I've tried but I always came back. So, yea. Friends would be nice. Or even just a pleasant conversation. Get to know me a little, it goes a far way. My friendship always pays off in the end^.^

Well, if you made it this far, I thank you. I truly do. I apperciate you taking time out of your own busy lives to read about mine. And I'm not being sarcastic. And for all that, I love you. Yes, I love you, whoever you are. Just because you spent this time, I love you. Maybe not romantically, maybe not as a friend, but somehow I do. And if you get to know me, who knows, maybe I will grow to love you even more.

Well, that's all I have to say for today. Hope you come read my journal again next time I post (which who knows when I will, I post whenever I get the urge usually.)

Ciao, and good luck on anything that may come your way.