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I don't care who you are--or how together you are--there will be times when you simply "lose it." More often than not, losing it isn't all that big of a deal. You get angry or raise your voice. You feel victimized or taken for granted. You throw up your hands in disgust. You get so stressed out that you feel like you''re going to "flip out."You might evenrant and rave, or worseyet, you might even punch or throw something. But, unless you actually hurt someone, or yourself, it's important to forgive your outburst, admit that your only human, move on, and vow to become less uptight. That's the best you can do. I know I've lost it plenty of times, especially with my stepdad, Jake, and a lot with my two animals, Dominique, a spirited cat who's still got spunk, even though she's not a kitten anymore; and Clara, a rambunctious golden retriever puppy, who think's she's older than she looks (louder too...)
A bigger problem, I believe, than an outburst is the way we beat ourselves up after the fact. We tell ourselves what bad people we are, or what a bad job we're doing at home. We feel guilty and fill our minds with negitivity and self-pity. Sadly, this self-defeating inner talk doesn't accomplish anything positive-- and may even encourage us to repeat the very behaviorwe are upset about keeping our attention and focus on the problem.
One of the keys to forgiving yourself quickly is to admit that you lost it and to remind yourself that you will crtainly do so again--probably thousands of time. It's okay. The more important piece of the puzzle is that you're moving in the right direction. And when you start to forgive your own outbursts, it will become far easier to extend the same courtesy to others as well. After all, I know all too well how bad it feels. My guess is that if you can be more forgiving of your own outbursts and those of others, the downs you experience and your tendency to sweat the small stuff at home will lessen substantially.
 ~Rouge_the_Bat~ · Mon Oct 18, 2004 @ 10:06pm · 2 Comments |
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