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Emotional I've been really emotionally unstable today. I've had mood swings to rival those of blackburn! I don't kow what it is, maybe it's cause I'm sick, or maybe just cause I'm tired. Whatever it is, I don't envy thepoor people who had to put up with me today. At taekwondo, during the warm up for the second class, both Johnathan decided to seize one of the only chances we get to practice or pattern for the competition. We haven't really done it in almost a year and we're obviously a little rusty, but it's the manditory patern for all full second dans. Mr. Blackburn comes over and starts going on about how sloppy it was and how he's sooo much better yadayadayada. He starts to walk off, but then starts yelling at us for not saying 'yes sir' and bowing, and gives us 10 push ups(not much I must admit, but it's the principle) and mutteres "thats the last time I'll help you two". Help us!!! F***!! funny how his 'help' looks surprisingly like ridicule. Anyway, that put me in a bad mood for the rest of the class. I spent the entire time swearing under my breath to my partner, who thought it was funny and tried, to no avail, to cheer me up. Then, to make matters worse, I blew up at my dad over something tottally pointless.I quickly apologized, but it was just ridiculus how quick I was to blow up at him. Just now I got on gaia and was reading godi's journal. When I read the part about her and Jenna drifting apart, I was actually bawling. I think I've become a little paranoid lately that we( me and my close friends) might drift apart. I never stick with the same group of friends for to long and now that I've found a group that I like/love with all my heart, it scares the crap outa me to even imagine us not being uber close. I suspect that this particular break down was just a product of my tiredness though. On top of everything, I've been more distracted than ever lately, so I miss parts of conversations, page numbers and homework questions. It's quite frustrating. I think I just need to get some sleep. Fat chance of me getting any of that this weekend though, I'm sooooo buisy. later girls.

Posted by: Tsarmina Fri May 06, 2005 @ 03:19am

Suffocate on eternal bliss

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Missangelina
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Commented on: Fri May 06, 2005 @ 03:30pm


	sigh and there I was, yet again, busy when you needed to go for a walk. I'll try and make it up to you before the play tonight though smile

Commented on: Thu May 12, 2005 @ 04:34am


	Bit of a late reply..sowy. cry I can imagine how that kind of treatment can really be a strain on you. Thinking back to my own Tae Kwon Do (sp?) days, I remember finding it strange how much it was like a very mild boot camp, but it never bothered me personally because I guess I was too young to tell the difference between a condescending moron from a good leader. Anyways, our stress levels have been elevating like crazy this year (I remember I would break down in front of Bomi at least twice a week last semester because of Physics), and we're all entitled to bursts of emotion from time to time. I often blow up at my parents for no reason at all, particularly my Dad, and I try to apologise for it as often as I can, but when it comes to people I'm really comfortable with, respect comes with a little more difficulty. I'm not really worried about all of us drifting apart. Before I was worried to death about it, and that paranoia was the trigger for the big blah in March. Sometimes I think we take the Sisterhood a little TOO seriously when we're just a group of wierdos trying to make the best out of our hell hole of a high school. We're not a cult, or a fraternity, but just friends. In my opinion, friendship ought to be treasured, but not handled obsessively or it makes it more difficult to get comfortable with it (this is just for me). Anyways, your concern is definitely legit, but try not to worry yourself over it too much, hun. You've already got a lot on your plate. Plus, I'll deal with things like this when they come...I'm not going to pull my hair out for an obscure possibility of the future. You don't have to take my advice, but I feel ya man, I really do. cool

Aeka
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Tsarmina
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Commented on: Thu May 12, 2005 @ 08:42pm


	Awww, why thankya. biggrin

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