|
July 13, 2007
Today was the rehersal for the wedding. I went but there wasn't much for me to do. At the end they showed me where the book was that I was supposed to have everyone sign and that was it. After that was the dinner, which was good. There was this really good dessert everyone liked too. Alex's and Caleb's parents talked about them and and stuff... I hope at my wedding my parents don't say embarrassing things about me like Caleb's parents did. I feel bad for him. XD Then they opened this huge gift that was from his grandma, a huge quilt she had made, it was really pretty, and then finally it was over and we went home. Kaz had to go to some stupid guitar thing with his dad, so I called him and talked to him. He had gotten home and that stupid Drakengel had told him about people talking about us from Flyff on some site. I wish she'd just stay out of our business. I told Kaz not to blame me for it when he responded to her but he did anyway. I am so tired of him treating me like this, I am on the verge of leaving him. He's done it too many times. I did manage to get the thread locked and hidden by talking to a moderator at least. The b***h who wrote it was that stupid otaku girl who had talked to me last month when me and Kaz had had that argument in Flyff, and she thought it was so cute that he was Japanese and that I should tell him I love you in Japanese. Needless to say I didn't listen to a thing the b***h said, pretending to be nice and all that crap, just to go talking about us on some forum a month later. I hate people, and more and more I'm hating otakus, they are right up there with emos. Anyway, Kaz wouldn't listen to me about how I felt about any of this, just reverted back to calling me an idiot and all the things he used to say to me. I would have broken up with him right there for not deleting his post except for the fact that I was able to get someone to delete the whole entire thread for me. But he didn't help at all, and I might be on the look out for better guys in the near future because I'm getting sick of it. In the end I decided to withhold sex. I still have not given him the satisfaction of having sex with me, and he wants it bad. I'm not so sure I'm ready to have sex, so this is a perfect reason right here to not allow it. After all, why the hell should I have sex with a guy who blames me for everything and writes crap about me every chance he gets? I'm not going to give him that satisfaction as long as he keeps pushing me around and saying whatever he wants to about me. So he has to treat me nice for a long time, six months at least, and then after that however long it is before he sees me again. So maybe close to a year, of not saying crap about me. Or however long it takes me to trust him, because after all that time, if I still don't feel like it's been long enough, then it might be more. Or if he screws up in that amount of time, it will start over. Whichever. It will buy me time, hopefully long enough until I feel comfortable with it and hopefully long enough that I can trust him.
|
