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Yuck. I was catually having the worst day in a while. Yesterday, my dad got pastel streaks all over my self portrait that I worked really hard on. I was really upset and preoccupied all day, specially in the morning. It took me 2 weeks to complete that sketch and I was gonna use it for my portfolio for university. I'll still probably have to use it, streaks or no streaks, because I don't really have time to another. It'll just look incredibly unprofessional looking. It just feel like there's been so much lately try to stand in my way of getting where I want to be. I love art so much but it's like there's an invisible force out to keep me out of that program. First guidance pulls random class size minimums outa there a**, now a big part of my portfolio get messed up. Not only that, but there's alot of sentimental value attatched to something like that. Most people don't unserstand, it takes a fellow artist to know how much it sucks to put so much effort into perfecting every detail, only to have it marred.

Ok, while at first I thought that was the only reason I was grumpy, I think there was more to it. I was really frustrated, grumpy and angry at everything and everyone. I'm not to sure why, but it was to a ridiculus extreme. If some one was talking to me, I'd get pissed off because I just wanted to be left alone, couldn't they see that? If someone wasn't talking to me, I got pissed off because everyone should want to talk to me. why weren't they talking to me? It was horribly irrational.

Luckily, in the afternoon I vented twice, to amalia and then to mon, and I took lindsey's advice and stopped thinking about it. After that I felt better. Honestly though, it was so weird. I don't normally spazz out for no reason. whatever.