Life is just so confusing. Lately I have been going between two things, I don't know what to pick. One moment i say that he really likes me but then the next I say that he doesn't. He makes me believe that he doesn't because he doesn't get on. It's like he doesn't care enough to even take 5 minutes out of him busy schedule to get on the computer and tell me what's going on...tell me why he hasn't been getting on. I don't like to be second in his life.. second to baseball. I'm happy for him, sure, i really am. I want him to be happy. I just would prefer that he was happy with me. That he would at least try. He told me that he liked me and then he broke up with me, then we got back together and then the next day he gets on but then a couple hours later he gets off. After that he doesn't get on for a week...that doesn't make him a good boyfriend. I miss him. I need him. It's not like I can go this long and still feel the same way about him. I don't know what to do. It's not like I can still love him that much. But then again, i don't think that i ever loved him. I can't remember ever actually loving him. I think I should of just kept it as a friend status. All he's doing right now is holding me back. I want him. I want him more than anything but not being able to talk to him is like not having him at all. It kills me when i can't talk to him, when i can't hear his voice. I just wish that he is feeling the same way about me. In my opinion if he does this to me then he deserves to feel the pain that I'm feeling. I miss him so much. I hope he misses me just as much. I can't take the distance between me and him. It's not like I can be supportive when I can't go to his games or I can't watch him practice. It would be so much easier if we were together in real life...but I guess that's not going to happen anytime soon. I just want to talk to him again...........
TheDevilsMusic13 Community Member 
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