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<center>i am so sick of being weak. it is a horrible feeling, when you know you can change your destiny. change how everything is. but you hold back..
i cant stand it. power has gone to them. because i am younger, they controle me. i am at their leash, and with each tug i am forced to do as they wish. i know there is nothing really they can do.. hit me? never. the weak bastards.. but.. still i hold back.
their faces are horrendous then, as they try to conqure me. distorted and ugly, spittle flying, their muscles tense and veins bulding behind their soft, fatty skin.
they are weak. but they still controle me. i hate this feeling. i wish to fight back. to give them as they deserve. but i cant. not yet. when the right time will be, i do not know. but now is not it. *sigh* i dont know what to do anymore.
untill i am able to support myself, i rely on them for food and shelter. yet they abuse their power and prey on my weaknesses. struggling, i have sought to erase this, but i am not able yet. maybe sometime soon..
soon..
that simple word is what keeps me going, as i threaten to break down and do the unthinkable. take my own life? never. but theirs..
those thoughts always running through my head, with every moment of every day. rightous anger building. paint, and despair, at being held back by the chains of youth. cracks inside my soul that spread. the pain that engulfs me from the inside out..
tears. i am crying. god damn it.. i am not suppost to cry. but i cant help it. its something i cannot prevent. one day my tears shall be of happiness, as i finally walk away from them as victor. </center>
 Silver_Flame118 · Tue Apr 19, 2005 @ 01:16am · 0 Comments |
