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A few years ago, I wasn't really a person people would want to be with. I was basically a wannabe goth b***h, listening to Evanescence and crying 'cause my mom wouldn't let me see Linkin Park. I wore pretty much nothing but black (the only shirt I owned that wasn't black was probably a red Linkin Park shirt), I worshipped Amy Lee, and was obsessed with being a "rocker chick."

I realized that with being a part of that crowd meant being lumped in with people who say things like this:

evanescence is GOTH
most of the goth peoples i know are into all that death stuff
i believe in it to but that does nt make moi goth

And call themselves "true goths."

With that, a year or two ago I bid adieu to the bleeding-mascara lifestyle and adopted a new sense of self. I used to think I had it bad 'cause I didn't have many friends, but I'm kinda okay with it now, 'cause I'm making so many new friends anyway. I definitely have a brighter outlook on life now. I guess I was afraid of showing that I was a nice person, and pushed people away. I'd like to quote Christina Aguilera here: "That...attitude I had...has transformed into a feeling like I will take on the world, but I will do it with an embrace, rather than with my dukes up."

The changes I will continue to take I can't quite say. They may be changes that shock people. They may be ultimately predictable. Maybe I'll go blonde. Maybe I'll revert to my dark ways. I'm a chameleon in the disguise of a teenager longing to live the glamorous life.

Basically, don't be someone else 'cause it's what everyone on Gaia is doing, or what everyone in sixth period is doing, just 'cause. Make sure you truly believe in what you're doing, before you do it.

Do your thing, honey.

Crymson